


Hell or heaven on earth

by herilaveur



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:34:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 24,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22434994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herilaveur/pseuds/herilaveur
Summary: What if in a parallel universe, Eliott and Lucas met again like WTFock.What if Eliott hadn't transferred from high school, so he never met Lucas and the Grew decided to spend a week of holidays at the seaside to celebrate the holidays.POV Lucas.
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 7
Kudos: 83





	1. Pathetic

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my mother tongue. Sorry for the mistakes.  
> I'd post three new chapters every day.  
> Feel free to leave me comments.

_It was a really fucking bad idea._ Lucas keep his eyes closed, his head on his coat, rolled in a ball against the train window.

He pretends to be asleep. And yes, it's just pathetic, but he doesn't know what else to do so he doesn't have to interact with his friends. The week off is going to be a living hell on earth. But let's be clear, the problem is not his friends. When Basile proposed to go away for a week all together by the sea, at the beginning of July, Lucas was really delighted. He imagined himself with his three friends, drinking beers and laughing on the beach. So he said yes without even hesitating. A parenthesis out of his life was just what he needed to stop thinking.   
To stop thinking that he's been living on the roommate's couch since Manon came home, and that it makes him feel like he's not welcome anywhere. To stop thinking about his parents. About his mother, who he worries about. To his father, who he's always angry at for having abandoned them, for always hanging around to send him money, for never being interested in him...the list is long...So yes, a week's holiday with friends seemed like paradise to him.

Except now Basil's dating Daphne. He's been circling her really, really heavy. Lucas was even embarrassed by how heavy his buddy was. But one day, Daphne left a class crying and Basile ran after her. Basile didn't tell anyone about what happened that day, but they've been together ever since. It's been three weeks.  
Lucas had already agreed to spend the holidays with the guys. Everything was already taken care of. Except Basil invited the girls to come with them. All of them were in, except Manon, who left at the end of June to join her parents. Lucas imagined the holidays with Daphne, Alexia, Emma and Imane.   
Lucas was partner in biology with Imane. He really didn't expect her to be ready to come. They talk a little, but only about the classes. Imane is sharp. She says what she's thinking, when she's thinking it, straight up. That's why Lucas likes her, but he certainly won't tell her. 

A week with his mates and the crew. It took her away from the original idea, but it made her think of a nice week anyway. Then Daphne's cousin added to that. Because otherwise Daphne's parents wouldn't let them go underage. Her cousin's 19, she's in art school. Apparently, she comes with her boyfriend and says yes, only to take advantage of the free rental with him. And since they're coming by car, it will be convenient for shopping.

Well, the gang, the crew, the cousin and her boyfriend that Lucas probably won't see all week since they'll be spending their time in bed... So far, so good. Until Friday two weeks ago. Chloe was all smiles, waiting for Lucas to come out of class. After she kissed him, she asked him if he had any plans for the holidays. Basile was surprised Lucas didn't offer to go with them. Lucas, embarrassed, defended himself by explaining that he didn't want to impose Chloé on the group, but Arthur whistled a "the more the merrier".   
Lucas had been hoping all weekend that Chloe's parents would turn him down. She's a sophomore. They've only been together a couple of months. They met at a party and since then, Chloe's been totally in love with Lucas.  
Lucas knows what he's doing is really wrong. He just wishes he could tell Chloe the truth. But the truth he can't even tell himself. So he pretends. He holds Chloe's hand, kisses her and pretends he wants more. Except he doesn't want anything more, so as soon as they're together, he slows things down. 

The universe being against him, Chloe arrived all smiley on Monday, telling the guy she was up for a week's vacation, if they all agreed. She told her parents that she was spending the week at her best friend Maria's house. Lucas watched his buddies nod, one after the other, trying not to show that he wished they would refuse.   
He couldn't decently tell his girlfriend that he didn't want her for the holidays.

So he sits there on the train, pretending to be asleep just so he doesn't have to talk to his girlfriend sitting next to him. It's really pitiful. _Pathetic_.

This week is going to be a living hell.


	2. I sleep with you.

After the journey by train and then by bus, they come to their location. It's like a chalet, set directly in the sand, with the sea just a few meters behind the dunes. In the middle is a large living room. On the east side of the living room there are four bedrooms. Two rooms have a double bed and two rooms with two bunk beds.

''I'll take the large bedroom'' announces Basile as he opens the doors.

''There's one for my cousin,'' says Daphne. ''I promised her, otherwise she wouldn't come. ''

"And we'll take the second one" confirms Basil, winking at Daphne.

Arthur comes in between. "And why not Lucas and Chloe?"

Lucas almost chokes on his own saliva. Shit, he doesn't ask for anything. Especially not to sleep with Chloe.

"It's okay, man" he says, looking at Arthur.

''But you've been together longer than they have'' Arthur chases him, pulling his glasses up over his nose.

''Anyway, I'm going to sleep in the girls' room'' ends up throwing Daphne.

Basil looks at her in amazement, and Lucas looks as if he's panicking.

"What? Why?"

Daphne walks up to Basil and strokes his arm. "It's a buddy vacation. I just want to spend time with my girlfriends. And with you too, of course. So day with you, night with my girlfriends... Lucas, you can have her."

Lucas sees Chloe's face widen with a smile. And he's like, "No, it's okay. It's okay. I'll sleep with you guys."

He comes into the room and puts his bag on one of the bunk beds upstairs. He looks at the surprised faces of his buddies and says, "We'll leave the room for the couples when they need it."

Basil's face lights up, until Daphne whispers, "I wouldn't sleep in that bed, knowing that others also do so."

Everyone starts laughing and Chloe throws her purse next to Lucas'. "I don't care, I sleep with you, that's all that matters."

Oh, man. Lucas feels trapped. At the same time, there are four beds in the rooms. There are four girls, four guys... She wasn't gonna sleep on the couch. Although...  
Lucas wipes that thought from his head and smiles as much as he can. 

  
_Hell on earth._

After dinner, the girls are doing their toenails, so they'll look good at the beach the next day. The guys are toasting quietly around the fire and Lucas is sitting on the dunes, looking at the sea, while listening to music. He is startled when Yann touches his shoulder.

"It's okay, man?"

"Yeah. Sure, why? You're not?"

"You don't seem to be there. You're all alone on the sand and we're all here."

"I'm relaxing," Lucas defends himself.

Yann raises an interrogatory eyebrow and Lucas goes "I look at the waves and listen to music and it calms me down."

''Do you really need to be soothed when we're on a week's holiday, Lucas? Tell me what's wrong, I'm here, man."

''I know. I'm sorry, man. I just need to clear my head so I can enjoy the holidays. You know, between school being out, problems with my mom... I just need some quiet time."

''Okay, man. But we're here. Don't forget about us."

Lucas is watching Yann go back to their cabin. They all seem to be having so much fun. Even Chloe. Lucas feels even worse for acting the way he does. His music stops and is replaced by the beep of a message.

Chloe 10:55 / I'm going to bed. Meet me soon.

Lucas doesn't even bother to answer. He nods to the cabin and sees Chloe smiling. But he doesn't move. He watches his friends go into the chalet, one after the other and still doesn't move. He finally gets up and enters the cabin where the lights are all off. He hates the darkness, so he slowly walks over to the couch and lies down. From there, he can watch the moon shining. 


	3. I'm kidding.

When he wakes up the next day, it's because of a noise. A sound that repeats itself. Is it supposed to be music? Lucas doubts it. It's just a horrible sound. He pushes back the blanket on him and dies with his lower lip. If he's got a blanket on him,someone saw him sleeping on the couch. Shit, he'll have to explain that when the others wake up. He grabs his cell phone at 6:45.

Who can make that much noise at that hour on a Saturday? 

He exits the cabin and heads towards the music source. Right in front of their terrace, a guy is sitting, the music coming out of his phone, drawing and whispering incomprehensible words. Lucas hesitates but the guy raises his head and looks at him. Then he walks up to him. 

_He's the best-looking guy I've ever seen. God damn it Lucas, stop it right now._

"Hi." He says, looking at Lucas, "Up and about?

_Oh, his voice is just perfect._

Lucas looks at him closely and answers, more curtly than he really wants, "Your music woke me up.''

The guy turns his music off and keeps looking at Lucas. 

''Sorry. I love dupstep. I think it's a really great way to relax."

Lucas laughs. "That noise? "This relaxes you?"

He smiles and then his face gets serious again.

"Didn't you bring me coffee?" he asks. 

"What? "He can't even articulate that simple word properly and stutters.

''You're the manager, aren't you? I asked for a coffee, served it right on the beach and I still got nothing. I'm really not happy about this. "I'm gonna put a bad note on booking.

The guy takes his cell phone out of his pocket and taps it. Then he looks up and laughs.

''I'm fucking kidding. You should see your face."

Lucas imagine a good look at his face. He's probably got unruly hair on his head, looking like a bird might come nesting there and probably a totally surprised face.  
The guy looks at him with beautiful green eyes. Lucas is breathless. And then he realizes that he should talk because the silence is getting heavy.

"Who the fuck are you? _Oh, well done, Lucas, the aggressive tone, perfect for communicating so early in the morning._

The guy's startled by Lucas' tone but smiles, "I'm a boyfriend of the cousin of your buddies' girlfriends, apparently." And he starts laughing. 

The sound of his laughter is so good to listen to that it almost makes Lucas forget how disappointed he is that this guy is set up. 

"That's all" laughs Lucas. 

"Just that" confirms the guy with a wink of his eye.

The guy gets up, grabs his stuff and grabs Lucas' wrist and drags him down the beach. "Come on, let's get that coffee."

Lucas tries not to think about the burning sensation coming from where the boy touches. The guy lets go of his hand, orders two coffees from the campsite grocery store and gives one to Lucas. They go and sit on the pier and the guy gives him a big smile.

"My name's Elliot, by the way."

Lucas laughs, "Oh, shit, I'd rather call you the boyfriend of the cousin of my buddies' girlfriends."

''Well, make it quick, 'cause I don't think that's gonna be my name much longer.''

Lucas thinks about what he's saying and then understands. 

''Oh, shit. I'm sorry, man."

Eliott gives him a big smile. "Don't be sorry. I'm not sorry myself. I've been with Lucille for a while, but we've been going in circles. We've got more lows than highs. She dragged me here to try to patch things up, but I don't know if I really want to."

Lucas doesn't even know what he should say, so he says nothing and smiles at Elliot.

"What about you?" Eliott asks quietly. 

"Me?" Lucas is surprised. 

As Eliot nods, he says in a dull voice, "I'm here with my girlfriend too."

"And you're sleeping on the couch," continues Eliott.

Lucas feels his cheeks turning red. He doesn't want to lie to Elliot. He'd rather not lie to anyone, really. But he doesn't know how to get out of all his lies so he admits defeat.

''No. I was just too drunk, I guess. I must have fallen asleep there, I guess."

Eliott doesn't believe it for a second,but he nods his head and whispers, "Okay."

Lucas takes his eyes off Eliott's. 

"Were you drawing?" he says quietly looking at the notebook that Eliot still holds in his hands.

"I'm writing a diary," says Eliot in a serious voice.

Lucas feels himself blushing even more and he looks up at Eliott's eyes. The latter explodes with laughter when their eyes meet.

''Just kidding. God, you really believe everything, don't you?"

_Of course, Lucas. Like a guy like that keeps a journal. He must think you're a real idiot._

He shrugs his shoulders and Eliott hands him his open book.

There's a raccoon in the middle of the page reaching out to a bunch of animals. The other animals look happy, but the raccoon looks really sad.

Lucas is moving on. The raccoon is in the middle of a fight with a cat.

On the next page, the raccoon is caught in the cat's claws and cries as the cat smiles.

On the next page, the raccoon is alone, sitting on a beach.

''That's you. "Raccoon" Lucas turns to Elliot. It's not a question, it's more of a statement. "It's kind of like a newspaper, actually."

Eliott laughs, surprised ''Yeah, a little. It relaxes me. Well done, by the way, most people think he's a badger."

Lucas is laughing. ''Why is it a raccoon?"

''They're cool. And then they wear masks."

Lucas nods his head. He doesn't even have to ask who the cat is. He understands that very well.

"How would you draw me if you had to?"

Eliott seems surprised. He takes a sip of coffee and looks at Lucas closely before he concludes, "I don't know. I have to think about it."

Lucas mumbles "Okay" and finishes his coffee. Eliott stands up and says, "We should go home and see the others." Lucas wonders if Eliot's tone was really sad or if he's projecting his own feelings. 

When they arrive at the cabin, everyone is awake. 

"Lucas, where have you been?" welcomes Yann. "It's only 8:00, man."

"Lucas" repeats Eliott softly, as if to live up to his name...''Lucas''


	4. I can't be myself

''Lucas''

Lucas thinks he's never enjoyed hearing his name in someone's mouth more. He realizes that until then, Elliot didn't know his name. 

"I kidnapped him," laughs Elliot as he reaches out to Yann. "Hi, I'm Elliot."

The guys say hello while Daphne makes breakfast. Lucas gets to know Lucille. She's almost as tall as Elliot and Lucas feels really small next to her. She talks really dryly to Elliot, asking him where he slept, where he was, what he was doing.  
This interrogation pisses Lucas off as much as it pisses Elliot off. When Lucille turns around to look at him after Eliott vaguely answers that they were together, Lucas feels like she could kill him.  
The arm that Chloe puts around his neck suspends his thoughts. So does the kiss she steals from him. Lucas feels a huge ball filling his stomach when Eliott looks at him. He feels really pathetic. Even more than usual. Lucas didn't even think it was possible.

"Sleep well, Lu?"

Lucas wince at that nickname. He hates it.

''Yeah. Good."

Chloe looks at him and she's like, "I didn't even hear you get up. I didn't hear you go to bed. You could've woken me up, by the way."

Lucas notices that Eliott's looking at them. He's whispering, "You looked like you were sleeping so sound. I just went to bed."

Chloe smiles and pulls Lucas towards her and kisses him on the cheek. That's when he realizes that not only does Eliott know he slept on the couch, but so does one of the girls. Because clearly none of his buddies would have thought to put a blanket over him.

"Hey, did you have a party yesterday?" asks Eliott as he counts the number of empty bottles in the kitchen.

Basil nods his head and smiles, "It's a whole week of partying ahead of us. We should have celebrated. And then we love to see Lucas drunk. He's so funny when he is."

Eliott looks at Lucas real close and Basil's like, "I swear, man, when he drinks, it's a different guy. He's smiling and funny. Liberated what. I love my man, but I love his drunk version even more..."

Lucas gives Basil the finger and he turns to Elliot and he's like, "See, not funny. If he'd been drinking yesterday, he might still be a bit nice. But since he'd rather hang out alone than drink with us, he's not even funny."

Eliott looks at Lucas again and nods to the couch. Lucas feels himself blushing. He should never have lied. He really feels like everything is falling apart around him.

''Okay,'' he says as he gets up, ''Thanks for that, Baz. A real mate. Well, I'm going to enjoy the beach and go for a run."

"You? Run?" Yann is surprised.

"Are you kidding?" Arthur asks, looking suspicious.

"I run every weekend with Mika" lies Lucas. "I've got a taste for it."

His friends look at him suspiciously. And they're right. It's all wrong. Lucas would never go running, just for fun.

Alexia laughs as she sits on the couch and says, "Mika only chases guys."

"Who's Mika?" asks Eliott, apparently very interested in the discussion.

"It's Lucas' roommate," replies Chloe, "he's gay. And just too much fun. A real gay guy."

Alexia stares at Chloe and opens her mouth, but Imane is quicker than she is. "What do you mean, real gay?"

Chloe shakes hands with Lucas and looks at her friends and smiles, "well, you know. He's open, always dressed in colorful clothes. Always smiling. Always nice. Always funny. Always talking about his dates. Gay."

Lucas could swear that Imane's cheeks are blushing. ''That's a very stereotypical thing you're saying, Chloe. Not all gay men are like that. That's really making a generalization."

Chloe looks at Lucas, like she wanted him to defend him. Okay, sometimes Lucas thinks Mika's too gay. Too much of an exaggeration. He takes on too much. But Lucas loves him. Because he took her in without question. Because he doesn't say anything when lucas pays the rent late. Because deep down, Lucas knows he's jealous of Mika. Not jealous of his plans for Gindr, but jealous it takes on.  
So Lucas shrugs his shoulders and heads for the door.

"I'll run with you," says Imane.

Damn it, man. Shit. Lucas didn't see that coming. His excuse is going to be torture. He puts his sneakers on and gets out. Imane joins him at the same time. They leave walking towards the beach. Lucas looks at Imane out of the corner of his eye. She is true to herself. She doesn't smile, but she doesn't sulk either. She is just herself.

''I'm definitely not going to run'' ends up saying Imane looking at him.

"Me neither" admits Lucas relieved.

Imane touches his arm and smiles. "I know, Lucas."

They walk silently for a few minutes. Some walkers do the same, but apart from that, the place is pretty deserted.

''If you need to talk, Lucas...'' says Imane without looking at him.

"You too, Imane. "

Imane stops walking and pulls on Lucas' arm so that he stops too.  
"Lucas. I'm fine, me. But you, you feel like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. I have eyes, you know. I see you closing in on yourself. I thought it was class pressure. But now you're on vacation. Yet you pretend to be here, with your mates, but you know you're not really here. I don't want you to tell me what's going on with you, Lucas, but I want you to know you're not alone."

Imane lets go of Lucas' arm and starts walking back to the cabin. But Lucas isn't moving. When she notices him, she turns around and gets back to her own level.

''I can't be myself.'' Lucas whispers.

Imane signals she can't hear and Lucas repeats louder. "I can't be myself."

Imane shrugs her shoulders. "Oh, Ok. And why?"

Lucas feels the tears rising. He sits on the beach, putting his head in his hands.

''Because I don't know if my friends will stay my friends if they know what I am. You're the first, by the way."

He raises his head to see Imane's face, smiling softly at him. Friendly even. "And why wouldn't I want to be your friend anymore?"

Lucas smiles as he dries the little tears that run down his cheeks. He didn't even think that Imane considered him his friend. His biology partner did. His friends' friends, yes. But knowing that she considers him her friend really does him good. So he takes a deep breath and lets go of the huge weight that's been crushing his chest for so many years.

''I'm gay."


	5. I want you

That's it, he said it! He said it out loud! ''I'm gay'' he repeats softly.

"I heard it the first time, Lucas." says Imane, laughing. "And?"

Lucas looks at Imane surprised. "And?"

"And then, why wouldn't I want to be your friend anymore?" She looks so sweet right now. Lucas even wonders if it's the same person.

"Isn't that what your religion is about?" Lucas says, weighing his words.

Imane puts her hands on Lucas' hands and smiles at him. He has never seen Imane smile so much. 

"My religion does not agree with that. But my religion doesn't forbid me to be friends with someone. I don't judge anyone. I won't judge you because you're gay, Lucas."

Imane hugs him and Lucas is breathless. She pulls him back as fast as she pulled him in.

''On the other hand, am not a friend to someone who hides behind a girl. She has feelings, Lucas. She's clearly crazy about you. It's wrong to play like this."

Lucas puts his head down and runs his hand through her hair. ''I know. I'm sorry."

Imane gets up and waves to Lucas to follow him. "It's not about me, Lucas. You need to come clean with yourself, and with your buddies. And with Chloe, especially."

They walk slowly, which gives Lucas time to think. He stops walking and looks at Imane. "Aren't you even surprised, Imane?"

Imane is laughing softly. Not meanly, but as if Lucas has just understood something really simple to understand.

"We already knew, Lucas."

Lucas puts his hand on Imane's forearm to make her stop walking. "We? "Who's we?"

Imane looks up to the sky as if it's obvious. "We, the crew. Manon took your cell phone away from you last year. It was open on several gay sites. So we just supposed."

"Hey, Lucas, Imane, hurry up," screams Arthur, posted in front of the chalet.''We're going to play a game of paintball in the dunes'' 

They find half an hour later, on the beach, all in camouflage suits, helmets on their heads and guns in their hands.

"We could have stayed at the cabin, just the two of us," says Lucille who walks right in front of Lucas, stroking Eliott's arm.

''No, I'd rather come and have fun,'' Eliott replies curtly. His voice sounds so hard and sharp compared to the one he had this morning over coffee.

Lucille removes her hand out as if Elliot had slapped her. "Don't have too much fun, Elliot." And she turns around to look at Lucas.

"Girls against boys?" Yann screams, brandishing his gun.

"How fuckin' sexist is that?" Emma yells out, ripping a flag out of his hands. "OK, girls, let's go get 'em, let's get 'em."

Chloe walks up to Lucas, as if to kiss him, but he puts his helmet over his face, pretending he didn't see him. Pathetic...  
Eliott grabs his forearm and pulls him towards him, "Let's go, no mercy!" he screams, as if he's declaring war.

The blows ring out, the guys scream, the girls scream, it's real anarchy. After twenty minutes, only Lucille is left on the girls' team, and Lucas and Eliott on the guys' team. Eliott drives over the sand and bumps into Lucas. He lifts his helmet and presents him with his most perfect smile. Lucas melts immediately. He takes off his helmet and whispers "I think she's right behind" pointing to a sand dune."  
Eliott puts his helmet back on, jumps his feet and climbs the dune in two strides.

"Hey, kitten," he yells before he shoots Lucille in the legs. Once, then twice. And then three.

She gets up, red with anger, and swings her rifle at Eliott. "Damn it, Elliot, can't you just be a normal boyfriend for once?"

And she leaves, furious, and she doesn't look back. And Eliott turns to Lucas, who gets up and walks towards him. He lifts his helmet, then Lucas' helmet and says, "I think we won," before he kisses her on the cheek. Lucas doesn't even have time to move as Eliott has already left for the group.

Once back at the chalet, showered and changed, they all meet in the living room, ready for tonight's great party. 

In the middle of the campsite where the chalet is located, there is a party every Saturday night. The group disembarks and the couples quickly join the dance floor. Basile seems totally happy, tight against Daphne. Lucas can't help but look at Eliott out of the corner of his eye. He dances with Lucille kissing him. But Eliott looks at Lucas while he's kissing Lucille. It really confuses Lucas. So he looks at Chloe and holds her close, making Elliot jealous. If it's a game, he can play too. Probably the beers he downed before coming over doesn't help him get any good ideas. When Chloe kisses him, he closes his eyes. Then he can't help but open them to see if Eliott's watching.  
His gaze goes right through him. So much so that he can't take his eyes off her. It's only when Chloe pushes him away that he breaks contact.

''I want you, Lucas.'' She declares, kissing his neck and sliding her hands down his waist. 

Lucas panics and takes Chloe's hands away from him, babbling, "Wait, I gotta go see Arthur, he just waved. I'm sorry."

Chloe turns around and tries to look for Arthur. It's a good thing she can't see him. Lucas walks away apologizing and rushes out of the room. 

The fresh air is good for him. He's sending Chloe a message, "Sorry, I gotta get back to the cabin. I'll meet you there." 

He jumps when his arm is held by someone. Eliott. Eliott is standing right behind him with his fingers locked around his wrist and seems totally lost.

"Lucas, what the fuck?" he asks quietly.


	6. Tonight we play

Lucas wishes he was living in a parallel universe where he says, "This is me trying to make you jealous for you to come over here and kiss me, Elliot."

But in their universe, Lucas is a coward. A total coward.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lucas says curtly, before he takes his arm off and heads for the cabin. 

A coward who walks into the cabin and shoots down a bottle of rum before his friends come back from the party. Fortunately, Arthur comes back before Chloe. Lucas doesn't look like a stupid coward.

Once they're all back in the living room, Arthur sits back on the couch with a dazzling smile on his face and says ''OK. Tonight we play!"

Daphne looks at him sceptical, "What are we playing?"

"Any game that's drunk," says Emma as she prepares the bottles.

Lucas looks at Imane and smiles at her. "And those who don't drink?"

Basil stands in front of him with his arms crossed over his chest. He staggers already a little, "Ah no, lulu. I want to see Lucas drunk at least once during the holidays. I miss my happy boyfriend."

Lucas smiles at him and hugs him, which amazes everyone. Lucas pulls himself together and points his head at Imane.

''Imane, of course'' said Basil looking at her. ''Well, you take a soda, or some water. But you play anyway. Please..."

Imane thanks Lucas silently and silences Basil with a wave of his hand.

They push the sofas towards the walls and find themselves all sitting on the floor, in a sort of disorderly circle.  
Chloé sticks to Lucas, under Imane's stern gaze. Lucas pretends to yawn and stretches to be able to free his arm from her hold. Totally pathetic...

"What are we playing at" asks Eliott when he joins the group.

Lucille holds his hand and tries to hold him down to keep him from sitting down. He looks at her as if he doesn't understand and tries to free his hand to sit down.

"Eliott, don't you want to spend the evening together?" she asks in a voice that Lucas thinks is very silly, pointing to the room from the head.

"No thanks, I'm fine here." answered Elliot without looking at her.

''Would you rather play and drink with kids than spend the evening with me? You're fucking 19, Elliot. Grow up!"

Calling Lucas a kid hurts Lucas.

"You can play with us and have fun for once," Eliott says, dryly.

''Somebody in here needs to be in control of themselves. You shouldn't drink, and you know it, Elliot. You shouldn't smoke. You've had enough to drink, I think."

And Eliott rips his hand away from Lucille's and starts screaming.

''Damn Lucille, let go of me. You ain't my mama that I know of. I'm still doing what I want."

And he sits quietly between Yann and Alexia... Daphne gets up to run after Lucille but she comes back alone a few minutes later and says nothing.

"F&K" suggests Arthur.

Faced with the lack of reaction from the group, he explains: "Fuck and Kill. We go around the table. Each in turn, we choose one member of the group: the one we'd like to fuck and the one we'd like to kill. Whoever gets picked to get fucked has to have a drink. Whoever we kill has to have two. Does it work? ''

"Aren't we supposed to say who we want to marry?" Daphne asks, hesitantly.

"We're 17, Daph... don't be so serious," laughed Emma, taking a sip of vodka.

"I'm starting," yells Basil. "I sleep with Daphne... and I kill Lucas for talking in his sleep."

Everybody bursts out laughing and Lucas drinks his glasses and grunts "anything" but unfortunately, Yann says it's true.

''OK OK, I fuck Yann. Again." she says, winking at him, "And I'll kill Lucas."

Lucas feels shrunk, but Emma gives him a smile to show him she's laughing. He drinks his two drinks with a smile on his face.

Imane nods her head and drops "I kill Lucas too. He knows why." She says seriously before adding "and I'm sleeping with Arthur."

To the group's whistling, she adds ''This is an assumption that will never come true, guys. You're aware of that, I hope."

"So" begins Yann, "I'm fuck Emma. Again,'' he says jokingly, ''and I kill Lucas.''

"Why the fuck does everyone want to kill me?" Lucas moans. "I thought you were my best mate. Traitors. You just want to get me drunk."

''No. I want to kill you because you never tell me anything and it's killing me, Lucas. You're killing me. Then I kill you." And Yann nods his head towards Elliot.

Elliot pretends to look at the whole group before talking. "I'll kill Lucas." He waits for two seconds. "No, I'm just kidding. I'd kill Chloe."

She's startled, surprised to hear his name, and has two drinks while watching Elliot. Lucas looks at Elliot and realises that Elliot is looking at him intensely. "And I'm fucking Lucas.''

A silence invades the living room, soon replaced by whistling, laughter and shouting from the guys.

"Wait, are you gay?" asks Basil as he watches Elliot.

Lucas chokes on his glass, and the vodka comes out through his nose, causing more whistling. 

''Man. You don't have to ask." Yann takes him back, but Eliott waves to him and says, "I'm not really gay. But, yeah, I could be with a guy, if that's what you're asking."

All eyes turn to Lucas, who smiles without realizing it. Chloe elbows him, which makes him come to his senses.

"My turn," says Alexia, "I'm gonna kill Lucas. Clearly. I'm sorry, man, but I have to kill you to screw with Elliot. He's too hot."

She starts laughing. Elliot bends over and whispers something in her ear. Her cheeks turn red and she looks at Lucas and smiles. Lucas drinks his glasses while looking at them and Eliott pretends to drink a toast with him.

Arthur turns to Lucas and smiles at him ''Damn Lucas, put your glass down. I'll be the first one not to quote you in any category."

Lucas smiles back at him and whispers a "thank you, man."

"I kill eliott," says arthur, "so I can fuck alexia."

Alexia looks super surprised, but she smiles at Arthur, like she's seeing him for the first time. Lucas watches as Eliot empties his second glass, laughing. Lucas takes the joint from Yann's hands and shoots it.  
It makes him feel alive. He looks up and says "I'll kill Chloe and fuck Eliott."

This time, nothing breaks the silence. Lucas looks at Elliot smiling at him and realises Imane is smiling too. Yann and Arthur seem totally shocked and Basil keeps turning his head to look at Lucas, then Eliott.  
The only person Lucas isn't looking at is Chloe.

Lucas doesn't even wait for the nominees to drink their drinks. He gets up, his legs are a little drunk, and he looks at Basil.  
"You wanted your drunk buddy... here he comes. The real Lucas. The funny Lucas. The smiling Lucas. The confident Lucas. The one I can't usually be. .I can't stand not being myself. Because I'm fucking gay. I'm gay and it's killing me to have to keep it from you I'm gay."

And he falls flat on his face in the middle of his friends, creating panic in the living room.


	7. We shouldn't have done it

_Oh, fuck my head._

It's the only thing Lucas can think about and wake up. His eyes are always closed. Everything is very quiet around him. Really quiet. Images of the night come back to him and he feels even more alone.

_And I'm fucking eliot_

Fuck, man. How could he say that out loud? By looking at him too.

_I'm gay._

He's seeing Basil's face again. Eyes wide open, mouth open, totally stunned. Lucas puts his face in his hands and feels the tears flowing. How will he face his friends now? Without even thinking about Eliott. What about Chloe? God, Chloe must really fucking hate him. Is there a stronger verb than hate? Lucas has too much of a headache to think about it, but Chloe definitely does more than hate him. And he can't blame her for that. He hates himself, too. 

The pounding in his head is really unbearable. But diving into reality is even harder for him. Yet he won't be able to stay here, with his eyes closed, all his life. He doesn't even know where he is. So he breathes in and opens his eyes. It's dark. Really dark. He fumbles but can't find a bedside table. On the floor, no phone. He feels his breathing accelerating and he starts crying even harder.

Between two sobs, a door opens, bringing light and he shuts up. A figure enters and closes the door just as quickly. Thanks to the mobile phone lamp, Lucas discovers that he is in the room with the double bed that was unused. The silhouette comes close to him and puts his hand on his shoulder. 

''It's nothing, Lucas.'' Eliott's voice is soft. Lucas' breathing calms down a little bit. ''Do you think you're going to be sick?'' he asks, worried.

Lucas shakes his head and Eliott seems relieved. His hand is still resting on Lucas' shoulder while his other hand holds out two pills and water.   
Lucas sits down, dries his tears on the back of his hand and takes the tablets. 

While he drinks, he wonders if he would have preferred one of his friends to be next to him. Would that have been less difficult than facing the look on Eliott's face? Probably not. Lucas is feeling really shitty so he gathers his legs towards his chest and wraps his arms around it before putting his head on his lap. Maybe if he doesn't look at him, Eliott won't say anything.  
At least now he knows where he is, which makes him feel better. Even though he knows that the light in the room doesn't work, because Basil sprayed it when he jumped on the bed in the early afternoon, and they didn't have time to change the bulb. He knows that there is a bedside lamp on the left side of the bed and this thought reassures him. Besides, he is not alone.

"Lucas, I'' says Eliott softly, but he is cut off by the beep on his phone, telling him that his battery is dead and his cell phone turns off.

''Damn it, Elliot, turn it on'' panics Lucas by raising his head.

''I can't, Lucas. Battery's dead." Eliott apologizes quietly, putting his hand on Lucas' knee.

''Fucking eliott, turn it on.'' Lucas repeats, even more panicked. His voice reflects his panic.

Eliot gropes and finds the bedside table. He is about to press the button but he pulls too fast on the wire and he hears the lamp crashing on the floor. "Shit."

Lucas is startled and starts crying again.

''Shit. 'I'm sorry. '' says Eliott as he touches Lucas' arm. He feels the boy's rapid pulse and his breathing becomes noisy.

"Wait." Eliott gets up, bumps into the walls and finally reaches the window. He opens it and opens the shutters. The moon is full. Its light invades the room and Eliott sees the silhouette of Lucas. He is totally curled up on himself.

Eliott reaches the bed in two strides and pulls Lucas against him to take him in his arms. Lucas lets himself be totally taken in and clings to Elliot's sweater. Eliott strokes his cheek to wipe away the tears, then he strokes his hair with one hand, while his other hand draws circles in the boy's back.

Lucas's breathing calms down as he looks at the moon and he finally steps back to look at Eliott.

''I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Why?" Eliott wonders, as he continues to draw circles around Lucas' back.

''For shouting. For crying. For being so shitty. I'm sorry."

And Eliott holds Lucas tighter against him. 

"It's okay. You have the right to be afraid of the dark, Lucas."

Lucas steps back from Elliot's arms and frowns. "I'm not afraid of the dark."

"Oh, no?" And Elliot's eyebrows show he doesn't believe a word of it. It makes Lucas smile and soften his smile.

''Okay, maybe a little. But maybe it's a secret."

Eliott rubs Lucas's cheek and smiles, "Your secret is safe, Lucas."

Lucas looks at Elliot as if he expects him to laugh at him but he doesn't. So Lucas raises his head a little higher so he can lose himself in Elliot's eyes. Are his eyes green? Are they grey? Lucas couldn't even tell. The eldest son's brown hair goes all over the place, in a kind of artistic blur and Lucas has never found him as beautiful as at that moment. Even the dark circles around his eyes don't spoil his beauty.   
Lucas shakes his head to stop thinking and sends him half a smile.

''To make sure you don't say anything, I should know one of your secrets,'' says Lucas, trying to be sure.

And Eliot pretends to think and then nods. ''Sounds fair, actually.''

He looks at Lucas, hesitates. He opens his mouth and then closes it again. And finally he goes for it.

''I really like you, Lucas. I want to be with you."

Lucas opens his eyes. Did he really hear you. Before his brain can record every word Eliott says, he hears himself say, "Then why don't you kiss me?"

Elliot's face lights up and Elliot comes closer gently. Lucas feels the breath of Elliot on his lips, but the tallest one steps back and smiles at him, "Because you're drunk, Lucas. I'll wait until you're completely sober."

Lucas utters a huge sigh, which amazes him. Eliott laughsas he lies down. He spins Lucas to take the place of the spoon and presses his chest against his back. "Good night, Lucas".

Lucas falls asleep immediately. 

When he wakes up, he has his head in Elliot's chest. The sun begins to shine through the window, whose curtains are still drawn.   
Lucas moves back a little and gets back into bed, to find himself face to face with a smiling Eliott.  
He pulls back the brown locks that are in front of his eyes and smiles at him.

''Hello, Lucas. How are you feeling?"

"Totally sober," he whispers, before he lays his lips on Elliot's lips.

Elliot's lips are so soft. Elliot looks surprised, but he kisses Lucas back almost immediately. Lucas breathes his mentholated smell and feels panting as he kisses him without taking his eyes off him. Eliott looks at him too, as if to make sure it is real. Lucas' hand comes to rest on Eliott's cheek, while Eliott's hand gets lost in Lucas' hair. When Lucas uses his free hand to bring Eliott closer by his waist, the surprised Eliott pulls his hair, which causes Lucas to moan uncontrollably.

''Damn it. I'm sorry'' begins Elliot, but Lucas is already resting his lips on his own. He's hungry for a kiss. He feels like he's a walker in the middle of the desert and he's finally found an oasis. Eliott looks more or less in the same state, because he emits sounds of satisfaction that get lost in Lucas' mouth.   
Normally, Lucas would feel super embarrassed to hear such sounds, and really horrified to produce them. But right now, he doesn't care. He literally doesn't care. All he cares about is kissing Elliot. It's like he's discovering the power of a kiss for the first time. He's never kissed anyone like that before. And that thought brings him back to Chloe.  
In a panic, he pushes Eliott away, way too violently. Not expecting it, Elliot finds himself propelled to the edge of the bed and holds on just in time to fall. He looks at Lucas and seems to read his trouble on his face.

''I'm sorry, Lucas. We shouldn't have done it."

Lucas realizes that Elliot must think he's sorry. But he doesn't regret anything. He comes up to Elliot with a smile on his face.

''Sorry, Elliot. I want him. It's just... you have a girlfriend, Elliot." Sounds like a reminder.

Eliott sits up on one elbow and teases Lucas. "You too, Lucas."

Lucas takes an exaggerated sigh and lies on his back. ''I'm not in love with her. I'm a horrible guy. Chloe, it was just a cover to get my friends to stop telling me about girls."

He turns to Elliot, and when he sees her serious face, he can't help but blush, "I know this is bad. I'm sorry. I feel like such a shit."

And then Eliott comes up to Lucas and hugs him, putting his head on his shoulder. 

''We're all messing around, Lucas. Yeah, it's really shitty. She's a nice girl, I think. She's got feelings, and it's really lame that she's been playing with them. You need to talk to her and talk to your friends, and then you can get over your crap. Especially since you went out in front of everyone before you fell apart, so they already know, actually. And frankly, you have nothing to worry about. They were just worried sick about you last night."

Lucas nods. Eliott's right.

"What about you?" he whispers quietly, without looking at him.

Elliot sighs and says nothing. Lucas strokes his arm, wanting him to know he's ready to wait.

''It's complicated. Lucas."


	8. That's never gonna change

Lucas feels like he's spiraling. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. He was already imagining himself dating Elliot. Surely their attraction isn't just physical. What if Elliot was just there to have fun and pass the time.  
Which makes sense, after all. Who would really be interested in Lucas? He remembers Lucille's words, and the look in his eyes. Has Elliot ever done this before? Go to a guy to pass the time?

''Lucas'' Eliott's voice is soft and reassuring. He points his finger at Lucas' time. "I can hear you thinking."

Lucas starts laughing. He feels Elliot's head bouncing off his shoulder. He shifts and they come face to face, each with his head supported by his own arm.

''I've been with Lucille for several years.'' Eliott starts in quietly. 

Lucas feels his brain start to go on a loop. It's clear he's definitely not worth it. Eliott will never give up his tidy life with his girlfriend to be with him.

"But I haven't liked him for a while now."

Lucas can't stop the smile on his face and hopes that Eliott doesn't notice it. But of course he does.

''In fact, I wonder if I ever loved him. Especially when she treats me like she's my mother."

''It's clear'' mumbles Lucas to himself, but Eliott hears it and he frowns a little.

''I know she's doing this for my own good. She's helped me more than once already. She's really been a pillar for me. But I can't take it anymore. I don't want to be with her anymore. She knows that. She left last night. She asked me to go with her."

"And you stayed" finishes Lucas. "Why?"

"Why?" repeats Eliott, surprised.

"Why did you stay with a bunch of teenagers you don't even know when you could have gone back to Paris?"

Eliott literally jumps up to Lucas and kisses him, whispering, "Just for you, Lucas," between kisses. Like it's so obvious. Except it's not obvious at all to Lucas, who doesn't understand how a guy like Eliott could be interested in him.

But now Elliot's kissing him, so Lucas stops thinking about it. Elliot's tongue presses against his lips and he opens his mouth, mixing their tongues while moaning softly.  
Lucas' hands are under Eliott's shirt and he only wants to take it off. So slowly, he pulls it up. He expects Eliott to stop him but he smiles in his kisses and slides his hands under Lucas' shirt. They break their kiss to put their heads under the shirt and get back in touch just as quickly. Eliott's skin is hot and Lucas has the impression of being burned everywhere their bodies touch.

After a few minutes, or a few hours, Lucas really can't tell, Eliott presses several kisses on Lucas' jaw, then on his neck and Lucas tilts his head back to give him better access. Eliott steps back and looks at Lucas, looking serious.

''Lucas. I want to be with you. But I'm not good for you. I am."

The bedroom door opens all at once, bringing with it all the light from the living room and leaving a giddy Yann on the doorstep.

Eliott and Lucas have separated with a start, but they are still bare-chested, in bed, their hair totally loose, their lips swollen and their faces red.

"Yann" is trying to say Lucas. But with his dry voice, it sounds like a groan.

"I... I..." Yann looks at the two boys as if he's lost. "I just wanted to see if you're better. ''

He turns around and leaves. Lucas hears the cabin door slam. He jumps out of bed, grabs his shirt on the floor and puts it on as he leaves the living room. The morning rises slowly. Lucas looks all around him and sees him walking. He joins him immediately.

''I'' Stutters Lucas. What should he say? That he's sorry? (He certainly isn't.) That he's gay. (Yann gets it.) Ask Yann if it changes anything between them. (He's too scared of the answer.)

Yann looks at him and whispers "How long have you known, Lucas?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders but Yann nods his head, asking him for a real answer.

''I think I found out when I was 13.'' Lucas whispers.

Yann reacts as if Lucas had slapped him.

"Why didn't you say anything, Lucas?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and puts his head in his hands. "Because I didn't want to tell myself. I can't believe I'm gay."

Saying it out loud makes it even harder for them to say it to each other. Yann is really uncomfortable. Lucas knows him well enough to know that.

"I'm really sorry, Lucas."

Lucas feels the tears coming up. He feels his heart breaking. Losing Yann's friendship is exactly what he was afraid of.

"I'm sorry I don't have a friend good enough for you to tell me."

Lucas wipes the tears that have already run from his eyes and looks at Yann surprised.

"It's not that." Defends Lucas.

''Si. That's totally it." Yann cuts him off "with all our stupid jokes. With all the things we said that made you think we wouldn't accept you. I feel like such a loser. We feel like shit. We talked a lot about it with Arthur and Baz yesterday. We're really sorry, Lucas. I'm really sorry, Lucas."

Lucas gets close to his best friend and his hugs him. Lucas feels two tears streaming from his eyes. He's just happy.

''From now on, you never have to deal with shit without us again. And now you're really in trouble, Lucas." Yann says softly.

"I know" confirms Lucas.

''Daphne wants to kill you because Lucille and Elliot broke up... So we're gonna have to get by without Lucille's car since she drove away with it. Chloe drove off with Lucille last night after you passed out, but she was really mad at you. I think she might be able to tell the whole school when she gets back."

''I don't care'' about Lucas.

''And your best friends cut you off while you were with a hot guy in your bed.''

Lucas laughs and gets out of Yann's arms so he can look at him.

"Best buddy?"

"Totally!" Yann says, slapping his hand, "That's never gonna change."

Lucas thinks and hesitates. "Very hot?"

"Damn, Lucas, all the girls are drooling over him. They'll be green when they find out he's yours."

Lucas laughs "He's not mine. I wish he was. I'm not sure what we are."

Yann looks at Lucas and smiles and shows him the chalet. "So go see."

Lucas enters the chalet and slowly pushes the bedroom door open. It's empty but there's a folded sheet on the pillow.  
He walks across the room, grabs the sheet and unfolds it.

A little raccoon is crying, and the words 'I'm sorry' are written right underneath it. 

Lucas walks through the living room and opens the room Eliott shared with Lucille, and it's empty. There's no sign of Elliot. None of his things. 

That's when Imane enters the cabin, bringing coffee for the whole group.

"Hey, Lucas, you feeling better?" she asks quietly.

"Have you seen Elliot?" asks Lucas bluntly.

''Uh, yeah. He said he's coming back on the train this morning." Imane says softly. "He just left for the station."


	9. What if I want you to

Lucas feels his legs give way under him and leans against the wall to stand up. He looks at Yann who just went behind Imane and Imane gives him the energy he needs. "Fucking Lucas, catch him."

Lucas starts running and runs up the beach. He jumps on the bus just as he was about to close the doors. He doesn't sit down, he claps his hands on his thighs for the whole ride that seems endless... even though he knows it only lasts five minutes. 

He jumps off the bus as soon as it opens its doors in front of the station, shoving a young woman in a hurry. He shouts excuses without turning around and enters the hall totally out of breath. He notices him directly. Eliott is sitting on a seat, the hood of his sweatshirt on his head, totally curled up on himself. He turns his back on Lucas.  
Lucas approaches slowly. Eliott is drawing. He looks over the shoulder of Eliott. On the notebook is a raccoon and a hedgehog holding hands on the beach. They look happy and hearts are flying between them. 

"Am I a hedgehog? "

Lucas' voice startled Eliott, who dropped his notebook and pencil. He turns around, surprised and picks up his things. 

"Lucas," he whispers, "I'm so sorry."

Lucas looks around. The station is not crowded, but the few passengers there make him uncomfortable. Eliott seems to realize this as he walks past Lucas and waves him off.  
They both find themselves outside, on the side of the building, out of sight.

"Am I a hedgehog?" Lucas asks again, pointing to the notebook.

"Yep," said Elliot, as if he had discovered "a baby hedgehog."

Lucas is watching Eliott. He looks smaller. Maybe that's because even standing up, he looks huddled up. He looks so sad.

"Why?"

''Because of your hair. And your height. And because hedgehogs are so cute. They pretend to be tough, with their quills, but they're just adorable."

Lucas feels himself blush, but he doesn't miss the compliment. He walks up to Elliot, who's leaning against the wall, and puts his right hand on the wall next to Elliot's shoulder.

''First of all, I'm not small. I'm a big hedgehog."

"If you say so," laughs Elliot. And his smile finally shows on his face, making Lucas even more confident.

''And then, that wasn't my question. Why are you leaving, Eliott?"

Then Eliot's smile fades and he looks at Lucas as if he's about to tell him something.

''Because I don't want you to think you're delusional."

"What delusions?"

''The illusion that we'd be good together. I can't be with you. Because you can't handle anything serious with me."

Lucas feels anger building up in him and it must show on his face. ''I can still pick and choose what I want, right? And I want something serious with you, Elliot."

He's about to kiss him, but Elliot's pushing him away by his chest.

''I'm bipolar, Lucas. I can't make you do this."

And Lucas' arms drop back down his body, and he takes some time to think about the news. He looks into Eliott's eyes and smiles at him.

''I don't care." His voice is free and uninhibited. He's actually relieved. He was afraid that Elliot didn't want him. But Eliott just thinks Lucas wouldn't want him because of his illness.

''It's not a joke, Lucas'' is pissed off Eliott ''I'm going to have manic episodes and do anything. I'm gonna get depressed and stay in bed for days. I'm gonna scream, I'm gonna run away, I'm gonna blame you. I'm going to make your life a nightmare. And I don't want that. You don't deserve this."

Lucas kisses Elliot to shut him up. Eliott hesitates, then kisses Lucas back.

"I don't care." Lucas repeats, breaking up their kiss. 

"My mother is a schizophrenic." Lucas starts, but Eliott stops him by putting his finger over his mouth.

''Shit, Lucas, that's even worse. I can't put a second mental patient in your life."

Lucas takes his hand away from Elliot and smiles at him. ''You're not mentally ill. I love my mother, even if it's hard at times. Her illness, it's not her. You learn to deal with it."

"I don't want you to deal with it for me, Lucas."

"What if I want you to?"

"It's not at all like your mother, you know."

Lucas takes Elliot's hand in his and gently caresses it. "I know, Elliot. Basil's mother is bipolar. That's why we met at a family reunion day at the hospital. We'd been at the same school for two years, but we'd never spoken to each other. We talk about this a lot."

Eliott seems really surprised and seems to be thinking about it.

''I want it all. I want something serious. You have a right to be loved, Elliot," Lucas says quietly before you kiss him. And this time, Eliot doesn't hesitate and kisses him right back.

When they enter the chalet together, they are greeted by whistles and applause. Even Daphne looks happy for Lucas.  
Lucas turns to Eliott, who laughs at such enthusiasm and says ''I have absolutely no idea who these people are, we must have the wrong cottage." This makes Eliott laugh even harder and he bends over to kiss Lucas. 

Should he be embarrassed to be kissed by a boy in front of his friends? Should he be embarrassed when he hears the "ah" and "it's so cute" behind him? He doesn't know, but he certainly doesn't feel any embarrassment. Until he hears the sound of a picture being taken.

"It's for Mika," says Emma, "He'll love it! ''

Everyone is laughing and Lucas accompanies Eliott who puts his bag back in the room he shared with Lucas last night. Lucas concludes that he will sleep there tonight. 

Finally, the holidays have a taste of paradise.


	10. Calm down, guys

The day has gone by at breakneck speed. Lucas talked a lot with Yann, but also with Arthur and Basile. In the end, he would have preferred to live in an alternative universe where he would have grown up assuming he was gay. It was quite difficult to face the guilt of his best friends, even though they had nothing to do with it if Lucas couldn't accept it.  
Now that all is said and done, Basil is pretty chatty and hasn't stopped wanting to talk about sex with Lucas. 

''It's to make up for all the talk we should have had,'' he joked.

While kissing in the water or sitting on the beach, Lucas also had a lot of conversations with Elliot. From their return to Paris in five days, from art school, from his senior year, from Lucas' colloquiums, from Eliott's parents...

It's now 9:15. Lucas just spent an hour on the phone with Chloe to apologize. After sending her several messages, she finally agreed to pick up the phone. She is hurt, but finally understands Lucas a little and promises not to spit on him when they meet next year. That's not bad enough, concludes Lucas. 

He then spends twenty minutes on the phone with Mika, who gives him advice on how to deal with guys he could have done without, but he listens attentively. He knows that Mika is doing this for his own good and that he wants to know this for his own safety.

Lucas' ends up saying Mika after his recommendations.

''Yes, guru?'' laughs Lucas.

''Guru? I like that! I'm proud of you, Lucas. It's never easy to come out of the closet, Lucas. I know you've been in there a really long time. But a closet is tight, and it's dark, and it stinks. So enjoy the fresh air now."

Lucas laughed and then gently asked the question he's been wanting to ask since he moved in with the roommate...  
"Did you know, Mika?"

"Of course! "Mika seems surprised that Lucas is still asking himself, "Why do you think I talked to you about guys so much, Lucas? I just wanted you to feel free to talk to me about them, too."

"Thank you, Mika."

"I like it better when you call me Guru" and Lucas is sure Mika is smiling as he hangs up.

He joins the group in the living room. They chat in small groups, while they're eating chips.

"Shall we play?" ask Arthur and Emma, shaking the bottles. 

And that's how they meet, on Sunday evening, again in a circle, each one a shot in front of him. This time, Eliott is sitting right next to him. Their legs are touching and they hold hands. Lucas can finally be himself and he's happy.

"I have a deck," spells Basil. "We each draw a card from the deck. He takes a deck of cards out of his bag. The one with the smallest card becomes the open book. That means that every person in the group can ask him a question. He has three drinks in front of him. If he doesn't want to answer the question, he has one drink. But beware, he's only got three drinks and ''Basil shows each person to count "we are nine, so there will be eight questions.''

"We get it, honey," Daphne laughs as she kisses him.

The deck of cards rotates in all hands and each player draws one card. "The ace is the highest," Basil says to get everyone to agree.

Everyone turns over their card and Emma bursts out laughing as she looks at her two.

Then, one by one, the questions come up. After Emma, it's Yann's turn. 

When Daphne asks him how long he's known Lucas is gay, he simply answers "this morning" and everyone is surprised. But Yann goes on to say "but that doesn't change anything between us. It doesn't."

The cards go around again and Lucas smiles as he looks at his 6. Unfortunately, his smile doesn't last when he sees the other, much stronger cards around him. He takes a deep breath and looks at Yann sitting on his right.

''Okay. Have you ever been attracted to me? "

Lucas looks at him, amazed, and smiles "I thought I was, at one point. But no. You're just my best friend."

Yann smiles at him and looks at Emma asking, "Have you ever been with a guy?"

"No."

Yann cuts him off. "Anyway, this morning you were half-naked with Elliot..."

...and that makes Baz and Arthur whistle and Alexia and Daphne giggle.

''Okay. Not until." Lucas laughs.

When Basil asks him, "What are you looking forward to doing with a guy?" Lucas has a drink.

When Imane asks him what he thought of Elliot the first time he saw him, he turns to Elliot.

"The first time I saw him yesterday morning, he was drawing outside listening to dupstep. I thought, This guy's the best-looking guy I've ever seen, but what the hell is this stuff he's listening to?''.

Everybody's laughing and Elliot's defending himself. "What? It relaxes me."

When Daphne asks him what his parents think, he shrugs and drinks a drink. 

Then it's Eliott's turn, and Lucas looks him in the eye as he hears him ask, "What do you like about me? "

Lucas drinks his last drink with a smile on his face, but Elliot doesn't smile anymore. He looks disappointed. Lucas leans over and whispers to him, "I'll tell you all this, but in private." And Eliott's smile returns to its former glory. 

The cards are dealt again and Eliott swears as he flips his two.

Yann, Arthur and Basil rub their hands together laughing.

"Calm down, guys," says Lucas, facing them with his eyes.

He looks at Elliot and asks him "What did you whisper in Alexia's ear yesterday?""

And Elliot laughs and walks up to Lucas and kisses him before he asks, "Jealous?

Lucas pushes him away laughing but shrugs his shoulders and finally nods his head in agreement. 

''I told her I could never sleep with her if she killed you. Because if she wanted to kill you, she'd have to kill me first."

Lucas looks at Alexia nodding and he blushes.

"Also," says Yann. "What did you think when you first saw Lucas yesterday morning?"

"It wasn't yesterday morning that I saw Lucas for the first time," says Eliott...


	11. I've never felt this way before

''The first time I saw him was Friday night when we arrived. You were all in bed by then. He was asleep on the couch. He looked so peaceful. And he was so handsome. I put a blanket over him and I thought, He's perfect."

"Was that you?" Lucas exclaimed as he looked at him.

Eliott keeps looking at Yann and smiles. "And I kissed him. On the cheek. I'm a gentleman anyway. And I lay down on the second couch to look at him."

The girls clap and Lucas feels himself getting even redder.

And Emma says, "Have you ever been with a guy?"

When Elliot drinks, everyone understands the answer. Even Lucas. Eliott puts his hand on Lucas' hand as if to tell him that they will talk about it again and Lucas nods his head.

Basil seems impatient to ask his question, "Are you gay, then?"

And Eliott shakes his head and says, "No. I don't like labels, but I consider myself Pan."

Everybody looks at him, but he doesn't say anything else. Then Daphne asks him what it means. 

''It means that I can be attracted to an individual of any sex or gender. No strings attached, you know."

"That's cool," whistles Basil. 

"Mine," says Alexia, "but do you consider yourself up or down?"

And Eliott empties his glass, winking.

Arthur's question is rather unexpected: "Why Lucas?"

His question hurt Lucas' heart. Eliott is about to take his glass but puts his hand on Lucas'.

"What do you mean, why?"

Arthur realizes the meaning of his question "Not that he doesn't deserve it, eh. Hey Lucas, I didn't mean it like that. But why did you decide to leave everything when you met yesterday?" Arthur seems really serious.

"Because it's him. "Eliott looks at Lucas and kisses him on the cheek. "Because I knew it as soon as I saw him"

and the girls are like, "oh, that's so cute," and the two lovers are kissing.

"Last question" says Imane "What do you do for a living?"

They're all laughing, realizing they know nothing about Elliot's life. Lucas knows, they talked about it today, but he's glad Imane wants to find out too. Besides, it changes embarrassing questions.

''I'm going to art school in September. I just graduated high school."

"Aren't you 19?" asks Basil in amazement.

"Yes, I missed my levels last year."

The cards are dealt again and Emma answers her friends' questions. As soon as the round is over, the girls get up and announce that they are tired and go to bed. 

The guys stay around the bottles, passing a joint between them.

"You failed a lot of your final exams, last year.?" asks Arthur, grabbing a bottle in the middle of the living room.

''You're welcome, actually. I didn't go.. I was in a depressive phase."

Silence fell over the chalet, until Basil broke it. "Wait, are you bipolar?"

Eliott nods his head in agreement and Lucas takes his hand and puts it on his shoulder so he can snuggle up to him.

"Okay, okay," says Basil, who comes over and sits in a suit right in front of the couple. "What was your craziest mania?"

Lucas pushes Basil away and stands up angry. "Baz. What's wrong with you"

Eliott pulls Lucas back to rest against him, kisses his hair and looks at Basil, who still seems to be waiting for an answer. 

"You can laugh at anything, but not with just anybody," Eliott says, smiling. ''Okay. One time, I was hot. So I left my house in the middle of the night, totally naked, to go for a swim in the Seine."

"And?" Basil asks, intrigued.

"I was interned for a week."

Everybody is silent and only Elliot's laughter breaks the silence. 

"I had no identity papers. The police found me, ready to jump off a bridge. They thought I was suicidal. I was committed, but as I was in a depressive state, I couldn't express myself to say who I was. It was only after a week that I was able to express myself and they were able to call my parents. So that's what happened. Worst episode of my life."

And he looks at Lucas, he looks sorry, and he says, "For now."

"Oh, my God." Baz whistles "so cool."

Yann punches him in the stomach. "There's nothing cool about this, Baz."

Basile hits him back and watches Eliott. 

''My mother, when she changed her treatment last year, she wanted to change families. So overnight, she dyed us all blonde. I had to go to high school with Justin Bieber hair."

Elliot laughed out loud as he dropped a "sorry, man" and was soon joined by the laughter of Lucas, Yann and Arthur, who remembered the sight of a blond Basil.

"You see," said Basil, looking at Yann, "you can laugh at anything, man."

"Oh, guys, it's almost midnight! We've got an early day tomorrow.'' screams Alexia from the girls' room. 

The guys look at each other and giggle, trying to keep it as quiet as possible. Arthur and Yann are the first to go to bed, followed closely by Basil. Eliott opens the door of his room and signals to Lucas to follow him.  
Lucas enters without hesitation and closes the door behind him. The curtain is open, so the room is bathed in yellow light.  
Lucas approaches Elliot. When he whispers his name, Lucas kisses him passionately. His tongue already finds its way to Eliott's tongue. Lucas' hands slip under Eliott's shirt and caress his back while Eliott's hands hold Lucas' face in a crouched position.

''Lucas'' repeats Eliott in a whisper. 

But already Lucas takes off Eliott's shirt, Eliott is panting and pushes him so that he finds himself sitting on the bed while he sits on his knees.

''Lucas STOP'' finally lets go of the elder, out of breath.

Lucas backs up and gets up immediately.

I'm sorry. "I thought you wanted to." he says embarrassed.

Eliott looks at him and gives him a sweet smile. 

''Of course I want to, Lucas. But I don't want you to feel pressured. I just want to be with you. We can just sleep. I didn't ask you to come over here just to do stuff."

A huge smile stuck on Lucas' face.

"Stuff?" he asks teasingly.

Eliott shrugs his shoulders and opens his mouth to continue, but already Lucas' mouth is cutting him off. 

''I don't want to sleep.'' finally says Lucas, a mischievous smile on his face. ''I want to tell you what I like about you.''

Lucas comes up to Elliot and kisses his jaw "I think you're handsome," then he kisses his left cheek "you're thoughtful," then his right cheek "you're funny," then his forehead "you make me feel good," then his nose "your drawings are beautiful." Then he walks past Elliot's lips without kissing him and comes down to kiss his chin "you're perfect".

Elliot grabs Lucas' face and kisses him, moaning his name. Then Lucas gets rid of his own shirt before laying Eliott down on the bed and lying on it. The contact of their two bare torsos makes him shudder. He lines up their hips, in a totally disorderly movement, and rubs himself against him. For half a second he wonders what he is doing. Is he supposed to be doing that? Does Eliott like it? But from the sound of Elliot's groaning, he's quickly reassured.  
Elliot's hands go down his back and grab his buttocks, through the jeans, increasing their friction. Lucas thinks he might come, just like that. But he doesn't want to. He wants to please Elliot. To show him that even if he's inexperienced, he can show him how much he wants to do him good.  
So he unzips the button on Elliot's jeans with one hand and slides his hand right into his boxers. Eliott makes a moan and Lucas comes and smothers him with his mouth while kissing him.

''Lucas'' whispers Eliot panting.

Lucas feels proud to see Eliott so defeated, so demanding. It's so powerful to see what he can do to him.  
He takes off Eliott's pants and boxers and takes the opportunity to undress completely too. Once naked, he comes to lie down on Eliott, throwing the sheet on both of them, creating a kind of hut, and their lengths meet on top of each other.  
Eliott's hands caress Lucas' back as he kisses him on the neck and Lucas can't hold back his moans.

Lucas grabs their two cocks in his hand and caresses them together. Eliott bends his head back, his eyes rolling backwards and moans again while repeating ''Fucking Lucas''.  
Lucas feels like he knows exactly what he's doing. He moans in Eliott's mouth while kissing him and then breaks their kiss.  
He draws a kiss line across Elliot's jaw and then across his chest. He stops caressing them so that he can go down while continuing to kiss this body so perfect underneath him.

He draws two kisses along Eliott's length and this one grabs his face to force him to look at it. 

''You don't have to, Lucas.'' he whispers.

Lucas, as if in defiance, takes Eliott's dick entirely in his mouth. Elliot jumps up and screams "Holy shit". He says it so loud, so ferociously that Lucas is afraid he's done something wrong. He stands up and looks at worried Eliot.

''Did I hurt you? I'm sorr".

Eliott kisses him to shut him up and smiles ''Damn Lucas, that was just too good. How the fuck do you do that?"

Lucas feels a huge smile light up his face and he kisses Eliott before he gets it all back in his mouth, causing uncontrollable moaning again.  
While he goes back and forth on Eliott's cock, he feels his hand on Eliott's cock surrounding his length and imitating the same rhythm.

Lucas can't concentrate anymore. He can't keep the rhythm anymore. His tongue hits Eliott's cock but he doesn't care. It's too good. And Eliott wiggles his hips, shows him he feels exactly the same way.

''Lucas...'' whispers Elliot. ''Lucas, I'm coming...''

Lucas hesitates, a few seconds, then runs his tongue around Eliott's top, before taking it all back in his mouth.  
Eliott comes immediately, in a jerky way, which sends an electric current to the column of Lucas. Everything is blurred around him and he feels totally out of his body. His vision is blurred and it is as if he sees thousands of stars.  
His relaxed body falls on Eliott's and they stand still, listening only to their rapid breathing and the beating of their hearts. 

Eliott ends up moving first, trying to retrieve his hand, still under Lucas.

''Sorry.'' whispers Lucas, lifting himself up slightly.

Eliott takes this opportunity to pull him up so that he can stand next to him and kiss him. 

''Sorry? You're kidding, right? You were amazing, Lucas."

''I just wanted to make you happy. I was just being nice to you. Now, if I did something wrong, just tell me, and I'll try to do better."

Lucas looks really shy now, and Eliott can't stop kissing him and whispering, "You were perfect, Lucas. You're perfect. More than perfect, even. I don't believe it. I don't believe it. You're amazing, Lucas."

And Eliott's holding him, and Lucas can't stop his thoughts from going on a loop.

"I've never felt this way before, Lucas." Eliott whispers.

Lucas laughs as he kisses him, "me neither."

''I'm not just talking about the sex. Even if that too."

"Me neither," only whispers Lucas before he watches Elliot fall asleep.

I found paradise on Earth...

But there's still a very fine line between heaven and hell in Lucas' life. He watches Eliott snoring softly next to him and looks at the time on his phone.

But why can't he sleep when he should be fine? He feels so good. Why doesn't sleep want him?

Lucas ends up falling asleep when the sun is already shining on him.


	12. Get up, lovers

When he wakes up, he's alone in bed. Daylight floods the whole room. Lucas grabs his phone: 9:29.   
No word from Eliott. No messages. 

_Fucking hell._  
_Don't panic, Lucas. He must be in the cabin._

Lucas hastily dresses up in a t-shirt and boxers and leaves the room. The girls are chatting around the table.

"Hi, Lucas," Emma says. "Sleep well?" Her wink makes the rest of the girls laugh.

"Uh, yeah. Thank you. (Laughs) What about you?" Lucas asks, pulling his shirt down on his thighs as much as possible.

"Not as good as you, apparently," laughs Alexia. "It looked hot last night. Thanks for the free concert."

Lucas can feel the red in his cheeks. All he wants to do is ask if they've seen Eliott... But he doesn't have time to open his mouth when two hands are around his hips and he hears the most beautiful voice on Earth.

''Sorry, girls. I promise we'll try to keep the concert private. But I went to get some croissants to apologise for the noise."

Eliott kisses Lucas' cheek and releases him so he can put the two overflowing bags of pastries on the table.

"Your boyfriend is so great," Daphne exclaims.

_My boyfriend._

Lucas can't hold back the huge smile on his face. He goes back to the room. Now that he's reassured, he might as well not stay in his boxers all day, especially in front of his friends. He doesn't have the time to grab a pair of shorts from his bag that he finds himself propelled on the bed, under Eliott's weight.

"Good morning, gorgeous." Blow Eliott in a kiss.

"Hello there."

Eliott steps back and looks at him weird. Lucas tries to give him his best smile, but he must fail because Elliot says, "Are you okay?"

Faced with the lack of response, Eliott backs up and stands in front of the bed. He rubs his head nervously, "Lucas, I'm sorry. If you regret..."

"I regret nothing" cuts Lucas and stands up in turn. He sighs and then looks at Elliot in the eyes. "I thought you'd left. I woke up alone and I thought you'd left."

Eliot puts his hands on both sides of Lucas' face and smiles softly.

"And why would I do that?"

Lucas hesitates and looks down, looking at his hands.

"Because... I don't know. That was the first thought that came in my mind."

Eliott puts his hands on Lucas' hips and brings him closer together so they're as close together as possible.

''I'm not going anywhere without you, Lucas. You're not getting rid of me that easily now."

That line brings a smile to Lucas' face as he looks up into Elliot's eyes.

"Oh, no?" he asks teasingly.

"No. I'll be there, Lucas. Until you get tired of me." 

Eliott's serious tone hurts Lucas' heart. He said that, like it was inevitable.

"I can never get tired of being with you, Elliot."

Lucas kisses him and looks him right in the eye and whispers, "It's never gonna happen, Elliot."

And Eliott kisses Lucas so hard, they fall back into bed with a bang. Lucas doesn't even know when they take their shirts off. But he is now in his boxer shorts, riding shirtless Eliott, kissing him as if he can't stop.

"Are you decent?" Basil laughs.

"Yeah," Eliott immediately answers, while Lucas yells "No."

But the door opens and Lucas gives Basil a hateful look. Basil doesn't even seem to notice.

''Get up, lovers. Coffee's ready. We're going hiking today. Departure in ten minutes."

"A hike?" asks Eliott as he gets up on the bed.

"Girls' idea. They've made up this week's program," laughs Arthur behind Basil. "But this way, you may be too tired tonight and we can sleep without hearing you fuck."

Lucas breathes an exaggerated sigh as he points a finger at Arthur.

"It's 9:51" says Daphne glowing, "we're leaving in nine minutes." She walks past the room and screams. "if you're still in your boxers in eight minutes, you're hiking like this, Lucas."

Lucas takes his phone out of his pocket: 11:58.

_Fucking hell!_

"Are you okay, Lucas?" Imane asks him, turning around.

"I feel like hell." grumbles Lucas.

"A hell with a nice landscape then." Imane laughs.

Lucas looks up and sees Eliott. Imane follows his gaze and laughs even harder. "I was talking about the real landscape, Lucas."

Lucas looks around. It's true that it's beautiful. They're on the hillside, walking on a small path lost in the middle of the woods. Through the trees, the sea stands out, stretching as far as the eye can see.  
The seagulls are screaming and if he holds out his ear, Lucas can even hear the lapping of the waves. The sky is a beautiful clear blue, only scattered with small fluffy clouds in some places. 

But Lucas is so tired that he has trouble enjoying it all. They've only been walking for two hours and he can't take it anymore. His friends all seem to be walking without any problems. Eliott is the first, leading the way alongside Emma and Alexia. Yann is right behind them with Arthur. Daphne and Basil walk, holding hands and laughing. From time to time, Eliott turns around to look at Lucas, and smiles at him while continuing his discussion.

''I'm gonna die here,'' says Lucas, in a very serious tone. 

Imane stops and looks at him as if to assess if he's really that bad. Of course he is. His feet are killing him. He feels like he's got cotton legs and can't breathe calmly.

"Let's take a break." Imane yells out so he can be heard by the whole group.

They all turn around in astonishment. It wasn't even a question. At the same time, Imane doesn't ask a question. She decides. 

Then Eliott looks around and sits down on a rock whose upper part is rather flat.  
He has to help Lucas to climb it so that he can come and join him. He tries to control his breathing so as not to show that he is tired.   
They eat while talking to each other but Lucas doesn't really take part. He gets lost in his thoughts, thinking about when he will have to walk, walk and walk again.

He is so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't feel Eliott's hand around his shoulder. He is then totally surprised when Elliot pulls him back and he can't help but fall.  
Eliott probably wanted to pull him back for a kiss. But Lucas was so tired and so pensive that he didn't understand that Eliott wanted to pull him towards him.

All he knows is that he just fell off the rock they were sitting on. It wasn't very high. Three feet, maybe. But the shock of his head hitting the ground still echoes deep inside him. His legs are still in the air, resting on the rock. His head and his shoulder hurt terribly. Especially his head. Especially with all his friends screaming. Eliott screamed first. In fact, he is still screaming his name but Lucas can not react.   
He can't even open his eyes. He just wants to tell them to shut up. Calm down. To let him come to his senses calmly.

''He's fucking bleeding.''

''Shit, look at his arm.''

"Baz, call 911."

He can hear his friends, but he can't motivate himself to open his eyes. He hears a noise, unfortunately too familiar. A slap. He hears it so close, he expects to feel the pain, but he doesn't. Instead, Emma screams.

''Goddamn it, Elliot, what the fuck did you do? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Lucas opens his eyes immediately. Eliott, he's holding his cheek, crouched down right next to him. Lucas raises his hand and puts it on top of Eliott's hand.

"It's not his fault."

Those are the only words he can say before he closes his eyes and faces the black hole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This accident really happened to me. I thought it was funny to describe it here. Don't ask me why my boyfriend pulled me back... I still have no idea. He kept saying that he didn't measure his strength.  
> Anyway, it's a funny memory now.


	13. I want to see him

''He's fucking waking up. Call a nurse."

Those were Basil's first words when he opened his eyes. But Lucas has such a headache, he closes them immediately.

''Lucas? "Lucas?" Daphne's voice is soft. Lucas can feel her worry.

He gently opens his eyes and forces himself to smile. It doesn't take him long to realize he's in the hospital. It's written on the sheets in his bed. He looks down and sees his arm being carried in a sling. But he feels nothing. No pain at least. 

A nurse comes into the room and takes Basil and Daphne out. She asks him his first name, the day, what he remembers. She explains that he scratched his skull open on a rock and dislocated his shoulder. He stays under observation for 24 hours and will have to wear his arm in a sling for two weeks.

''Your brothers and sisters will be able to come back. We spoke to your father on the phone, but since your parents are abroad, we'll let you go back with your cousin, as he's of age. Is that good for you?"

Lucas' mind is a little confused. He doesn't have a brother, a sister, or a cousin... ...but he just says, "It's perfect. Thank you."

So the nurse opens the door and lets his friends in. 

''Your brother needs his rest,'' she says before she leaves.

''Damn, man, you scared the shit out of us,'' Basil whispers as he hugs him.

"Sorry, bro." Lucas laughs. He winks at the couple.

''They said only family can go in the ambulance with you. I yelled that I was your brother." Basil defends himself.

''And I didn't want to leave Basil alone'' continues Daphne ''so I said I was your sister.''

Lucas tries not to laugh but can't hold back a giggle ''three siblings the same age? And they believed that?"

"Oh, no," laughs Basil. "Since I'm taller than you, I said I was 19, and Daphne said she was 16. We didn't think you'd want to call your dad. And Yann said your mom's not doing so well again."

"Who'd you call, then?" Lucas asks, lost.

"Mika, of course." Basile replies, as if it was obvious.

Lucas tries to gather his thoughts. 

"What about my cousin? Is it Eliott?"

Basil sighs and his face closes a little. ''We hope. You need a middle finger, ID to prove it, to let you out. But Elliot's been totally locked in on himself since the accident."

''Where is he?'' asks Lucas as he gets up on his bed.

''At the cabin. Yann convinced him not to leave. Eliott was really upset after the ambulance left, at first sight. He kept saying that he had hurt you. Which is true, but..."

"It was an accident" cuts Lucas off. "It was a fucking accident."

"I know," confirms Basil.

"Emma should never have hit him." Lucas gets angry.

"I agree. She apologized, several times. I think she was overwhelmed by the situation. You were unconscious, we were all very scared."

"I want to see him." Lucas orders.

''I don't know if he can come. He's gone into a depressive phase. It's just shock. It happens to my mom a lot. I don't know if he'll be able to move."

''I wanna see him,'' Lucas repeats, before he softens up. ''Please, Baz. Please."

Daphne and Basil look at each other, kiss Lucas and leave, promising him they'll be back with Eliott.

Half an hour later, Lucas' phone rings and he's startled. It's Basil.

''I'm sorry, Lu. He's wrapped up in his comforter and he's staring at the wall. He's right in there. He's not reacting."

Lucas looks at the screen and Basil shows him the ball of blankets on the bed.

''Put the phone in front of him.'' commands Lucas.

He sees Eliot's face, and he sees tears streaming down his face. His eyes stare at the screen but he knows he's not looking at it. It's like he's not there.  
Lucas takes a deep breath and speaks in a confident voice.

''Eliott. I'm sorry I can't come next to you. You don't have to feel bad. I'm sorry. I'm clumsy. You're gonna have to learn to deal with that. I swear it'll happen again. And it's okay. I'm fine. It's not even the first time I've dislocated my shoulder."

He takes a breath and he takes a softer voice. "Now please come to me. You promised me you'd be here as long as I wanted you. And I need you. It's so dark in here. I "

''No Phone'' cuts him off and takes his hands off the doctor.

He cuts off the application and puts the phone away from Lucas.

''You need to rest, young man. And no phone and no TV. Rest your brain."

Lucas is trying to fight the fatigue that's taking over but he can't do it. When he wakes up, it's dark outside. In the bedroom, there is only a small light on. This immediately reassures Lucas. That, and the big figure lying next to him. Lucas puts his good arm around Elliot and gently strokes his hair.

"Lucas?" asks Elliot as he wakes up, "Are you better? I'm so sorry, Lucas."

Lucas bends over, grimacing a little under the pain radiating from his shoulder and kisses Elliot. The sensation of their lips touching almost makes Lucas forget the pain. Almost. But he's perfectly comfortable with it, so he kisses Elliot eagerly.

"I hope you guys aren't really cousins."

The boys startle, and Lucas makes a groaning sound of pain in shock. And Eliot's face looks painful, like he's feeling the pain, too. He looks at the nurse who walks towards them.

''No, not really. Not really at all."

Eliott stands up and looks at Lucas and then at the nurse.

''I'm her boyfriend.'' He looks back at Lucas again. ''I think so.''

"You think so?" Nurse and Lucas both say his words at the same time. The nurse starts laughing and Lucas smiles.

''I hurt you Lucas.'' begins Eliott.

''It was an accident.'' cuts Lucas. He looks at the frowning nurse and says really sure ''It was just an accident. I didn't feel like he was pulling me towards him to kiss me, and I crashed like shit. I was in my thoughts. And I'm super clumsy."

The nurse looks at Lucas and then Elliot ''Oh, boys...'' she looks up at him and says ''I've got three of them at home. They're bullies. With hearts of gold. You're going to have to learn to control your strength, young man. But I'm sure you'll laugh about it in a few years."

And she leaves, wishing them a good night, asking Elliot not to wander the halls, for he's not to be there after visiting hours, but promises them they'll be quiet tonight.

"I'm so sorry, Lucas."

Lucas puts his hand over Elliot's mouth to shut him up. ''Shh. It's not your fault. And then I was looking for an excuse not to go on the hike. I should thank you."

Eliott strokes Lucas' cheek and smiles, "Imane said you'd say that."

Lucas nods his head, "She knows me well."

Eliott holds Lucas close, watching his arm in a sling.

"It's not that dark in here." Eliott says softly.

Lucas looks around. The light from the corridor goes under the door and the little light is always on.

''I just wanted you to come, Eliott. It never gets dark when you're near me."

Eliott moans and serves Lucas even more against him, letting his head rest on his neck.

"Can I ask you something?" Lucas says quietly after a few minutes of silence.

And then Eliott sighs softly and answers, "I wasn't in a manic episode, Lucas."

"What?!"

Lucas' voice is full of amazement.

And Eliott stands up to look at Lucas and says, "Wasn't that your question?"

"No, it wasn't."

And Eliot sighs. "It's all I've thought about since the accident. Was I too excited? Was it the mania that got the better of me?"

"And?" Lucas asks softly.

"And no." Eliott sighs again. "And no. It's worse. It's me, Lucas. It's just me, Lucas. I hurt you, and I can't even blame that on my illness."

Lucas kisses Scott's forehead and whispers, "It was just an accident. It happens, you know? It happens. That's life. I mean, it happens to me a lot, you know. One time I broke my arm falling off a classroom stage... I just tripped. I spent a month in a plaster. See, it happens."

Eliott smiles softly and then seems to gather his thoughts, "What was your question, then?"

Lucas laughs and his cheeks get a little redder. "Would you walk me to the bathroom? I have to pee so bad, but I'm not allowed to get up alone."

And Elliot laughs out loud. His laughter is so good to hear.

If heaven had a sound, it would be this one.


	14. I'm pretty sure we're doing it in a parallel universe

Lucas goes out the next day in the early afternoon, hand in hand with Eliott. When he arrives in front of the chalet, he takes two minutes to look at his friends through the glass door. Daphne is sitting on Basile's lap, her hand caressing his neck. They share one of the sofas with Emma, half asleep on the armrest.  
Arthur is chatting in a low voice with Alexia, who seems to be blushing. Imane is busy in the kitchen. 

Eliott opens the door in front of Lucas and goes to the bedroom to put down his bag. But he hesitates and puts Lucas' bag halfway between the door of their room and the boys' room.  
Lucas greets his friends and joins Eliott. He grabs his bag with his valid hand and throws it on the bed he shared with Eliott last night.

''You won't get rid of me that easily,'' Lucas whispers before he kisses him.

Elliot smiles in their kiss. Lucas forgets his friends, until Imane clears his throat.

"I just made some tea" she announces, "Would you like some?"

"With pleasure" answers Eliott, walking towards the group, holding Lucas by the hand.

They are now all gathered around the living room table, drinking spicy tea, and eating cookies, pancakes and muffins. Apparently, Emma wanted to make up for this gesture by cooking for the lovers.  
Lucas smiles and bends over to rest his head against Eliott's chest. The latter kisses his hair, which makes him smile even more.

''Ok, let's play?'' asks Basil.

Lucas steps back from Elliot's lips and rests his head against his chest, smiling, "Not me. I'm gonna skip the booze."

"Me, too," says Elliot before whispering in Lucas' ear, "I want to be sober by tonight."

He spoke softly enough so that no one could hear him, but Lucas' blush is pretty significant.

"A non-alcoholic game?" Basil suggests, "It's only 2:00, after all."

With a game of Doodle where Lucas jumps out of pain several times trying to hurry to the pile, two games of Uno and a game of strip poker, Lucas heads to the bedroom.  
He has lost his pants and shirt in the game so he can easily lie down under the blanket. Eliott is fully dressed but he comes to snuggle up against Lucas.

''Are you okay, Lucas?'' he asks tenderly.

''Yeah. That was a great afternoon. Seeing Basil and Arthur in their boxers wasn't exactly the best part. I wish you'd lost a little more."

Elliot's laughing.

''You're all about the boys. Alexia ended up in a bra, and Emma was down to her tank top, but you're only holding back the boxers."

Lucas laughs. He didn't mean it like that, and Elliot knows it.

"Because you'd rather watch the girls than the boys, would you, Elliot?"

''No. I was too happy that you lost, Lucas. I'm only looking at you."

Lucas kisses Elliot, but the question he wants to ask him burns his lips. And then Elliot steps back and smiles softly at him.

''Yeah, I've been with a guy before you.'' he whispers.

Lucas looks at him, surprised that he can read him so easily and nods his head.

''I cheated on Lucille with a guy from my high school,'' Eliott continues. ''We met twice. I knew I wasn't in love, but he wanted me, and that was pretty flattering."

Lucas tries to keep a smile on his face and not let it get to him. He would have wanted to be eliott's first. 

''But we never had real sex, you know.'' Eliott says softly as he strokes his cheek. He coughs, embarrassed, but continues, "It was just foreplay."

Lucas' smile grows on his cheeks. He hopes that Eliott doesn't notice him too much, but of course he does. He kisses the corner of his lips.

"You'll be my first, too," whispers Elliot, before he finally gets it together. "Anytime. I mean, if you want. I don't mean we have to"...

"Shh, I got it." Lucas says quietly.

Eliott draws a line of kisses around Lucas' neck, then lays one as light as a butterfly's wings on Lucas' injured shoulder. 

"Kiss me," whispers Lucas...

And Elliot looks at him, teasingly, "We say please normally."

"Please," says Lucas again, laughing.

Elliot's lips glide over his and almost immediately their tongues mingle. Lucas lies on his back, Elliot on top of him. Lucas runs his hand through Elliot's hair. The latter brings their bodies together and that makes Lucas moan. But with pain. And Eliot realizes it right away. He practically jumps to be next to Lucas.

''I'm sorry."

And Lucas gets up in bed and puts a pillow under his elbow.

''It's no big deal. You just ran him over a little bit.. It's okay, it doesn't hurt anymore. Come back here."

But Elliot's not moving.

"Elliot" he begs, "Please. Come back."

Eliott moves to rest his head on Lucas' chest, carefully avoiding hurting him again. He squeezes his arms around Lucas' waist and his legs encircle his. 

Lucas gently caresses Eliott's back. The silence is not particularly heavy but Lucas doesn't want to let it last because he is afraid to fall asleep otherwise. And he wants to enjoy being with Elliot.

"Elliot?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you believe in parallel universes?"

Eliot sits up on his elbow to see if Lucas is laughing. But no, Lucas is serious.

"Parallel universes? Do you believe in that?"

Lucas looks at him and nods.

''I really like that idea. When I make bad decisions, I think another Lucas in the universe made a better decision and that makes me feel better."

And Eliott looks at him in amazement, and then he says quietly, "And now you feel like you made the wrong choice?"

And Lucas strokes his cheek and smiles at him.

''Oh, no. But I can imagine a world where my friends knew I was gay when I knew I was gay. No secrets, no lies. Or another one where I told you that if I kissed my girlfriend while looking at you, it was just to make you jealous."

"I knew it," exclaims Eliott, happy.

"You started it," Lucas laughs as he pushes his arm.

"I know," admits Elliot, "and I'd do it again. But in another universe, maybe I would've accepted my parents switching schools and come to yours."

Lucas seems to be thinking and laughing, "Pfft. Even if you went to my school, you'd never notice me."

Eliott comes up to Lucas and gives Lucas a tender embrace." "Impossible. I would've only seen you."

Lucas blushes and thinks.

''Daphne would've liked that. She wanted us to repaint the mural in the foyer, but no one felt artistic enough to do it."

"I could always do it," suggests Eliott. "We could always do it."

Lucas starts laughing.

"You've never seen what I can paint. I'm such a loser."

"You're not a total loser, Lucas. And I'd find something easy. Maybe Pollock?"

Lucas laughs even harder.

"The guy who throws paint?"

"Yeah."

"As in, "Did I kill my mother?"

"Oh, yeah..."

Lucas looks Eliott in the eye and shakes his head.

"I wouldn't have sex with you in the painting in the middle of my high school, Elliot."

Eliot looks disappointed and then he starts laughing. "Okay. But I'm pretty sure we're doing it in a parallel universe."

Lucas laughs so hard it really hurts his shoulder but he can't help it. They keep talking about their relationships in different universes, concluding they always end up together.

Lucas grabs his phone and asks Eliott to pose with him. Eliott's head rests on Lucas' neck. He's positioned just right to hide the arm in a sling. Their smiles crack the screen. In the second photo, they kiss each other, smiling. 

Lucas posts both photos, captioned "In this universe, I am happy."


	15. Look at your smile, Lucas

There's a knock on the door, and Alexia screams "Pizza."

Eliott and Lucas get up, get dressed and join their friends outside. 

Lucas' cheeks almost hurt from smiling so much, but it's just wonderful. He is happy to be with his friends, feet in the sand, while eating the same slice of pizza with Eliott.   
When the slice is finished, Lucas grabs Elliot's hand and licks his finger full of tomato sauce. Eliott moans and turns his head to look at the others. They are all chatting and no one is paying attention to them. Lucas licks his lips now.

''Damn Lucas, stop it'' asks Eliott softly.

Lucas pretends he doesn't understand.

''Stop what?'' he asks with a blink of his eye.

Eliott smiles and kisses him and leans over to his ear and whispers, "Stop turning me on like this."

He steps back and stares at Lucas, who is smiling.

"And if not, what?" he asks innocently.

Elliot looks up to the sky and Lucas laughs out loud. Their friends look at them for two seconds and then go back to their conversations.

"And if not, what?" Lucas repeats seriously, looking up at Elliot.

He leans over to Elliot and licks his neck, up to his ear. 

Elliot gets up and waves to him to follow him to the beach.

"Where are you going?" asks Alexia.

"We're going for a walk," Eliott replies convincingly. 

He slips his hand into Lucas' hand and they walk along the beach. When they are far enough away not to be seen, Eliott turns around and puts his forehead on Lucas' forehead.

''You don't even realize how excited I am about you, Lucas. But stop doing that. I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have."

''I'm not made of sugar.'' Lucas says, ''I want all of that. Less talk, more action."

He pulls Eliott's belt on him. Eliott looks around and grabs Lucas' hand to steer them under a pier.   
Lucas hesitates. Under this bridge, it is really dark. But it is also the best place to enjoy Eliott without being surprised. So he shakes hands with Eliott and follows him.

Eliott puts him against one of the posts of the bridge and kisses him gently. He runs around his neck with his lips, stroking his hair with one hand and opens Lucas' jeans with the other hand.   
The vision of Eliott kneeling in the sand, taking it in his mouth while looking at it is a pure delight.   
Lucas always has his hand in Eliott's hair and tries not to impose a rhythm on him but he surprises himself doing so. So he removes his hand, but Eliott grabs it with his own and puts it back on the back of his neck. Then Lucas guides him back and forth.

''Fucking Elliot'' he groans without any discretion. It's so good he feels like he can't stand up for much longer. And Elliot must be feeling it because he's holding his hips while continuing to take it all in his mouth.

''I'm... I'm... I just...'' Panting, Lucas. He's trying to pull Eliot back, but he's not moving.

He comes in screaming his name in a hoarse groan. 

Eliott gets up, pulls up his boxers and jeans and smiles at him. Lucas can't repress his desire to kiss him so he does. He is a little surprised because he feels on Eliott's tongue. But it's kind of nice.  
He would never imagine doing this, but now he can't imagine not doing it.

''I don't ever want to eat anything but pizza with you again,'' Lucas says in a serious tone.

They both burst out laughing at the same time and Eliott comes out of hiding first.

When they arrive at the cabin, their friends are all in the middle of the living room. Lucas enters first, runs a hand through his hair and smiles. He sits next to Imane, opposite Basile. Eliott comes and sits just behind him, spreading his legs on each side so that Lucas can rest on his chest.

''It's really great,'' says Basil.

All eyes are on him. He points at Lucas with a smile on his face. 

''It's great. I feel like I'm finding my Lucas drunk again, and you're sober. Look at your smile, Lucas."

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

''It's true, Lucas,'' confirms Yann. ''Even with your arm, you're not even cranky. It's totally due to Eliott. Well done, man. And thanks."

Eliott looks at Lucas' shoulder and his face turns sad again.

''Pff... whatever. It's the drugs. I just gave him an arm sling and a splitting headache."

"And the best orgasm of my life." Lucas says he feels bad. He puts his hand in front of his mouth with his eyes wide open.

Of course, all his friends are laughing and yelling "Oh oh"...

"I'm fucking sorry," said Lucas as he turned to look at Elliot.

But Eliott is not embarrassed. He seems... proud. And happy. He leans over to Lucas and their foreheads touch. "I could say the same thing."

They're kissing, not even listening to their friends' comments. When Lucas' hand slips under Elliot's shirt, right at the waist, Arthur starts screaming.

''Oh, stop, guys. Save it for tonight."

"Or for when you get home," laughs Emma, pretending to cover her ears.

"So, are we gonna play, or what?" Eliott laughs, watching Basil.

"You got any ideas?"

"Yep. We're asking a question, "Who's...?" You have to point the finger at the person who matches it. Whoever has the most fingers pointing at them should drink their drink and ask a question..."

"For instance?" asks Alexia, who is a little confused.

"For instance, who's the funniest?"

All fingers point to Basil, who smiles happily and drinks his drink.

"Who's the most serious?" Basil says.

All fingers turn to Imane.

"Who's the least serious?" she says.

Eliott is pointed at and pretends to be shocked. But it's Emma who wins.

She drinks her drink and starts laughing. The questions keep coming for a little while, and Emma must be the one who drank the most. 

''OK OK.'' She says after she finishes her drink. ''Let's get serious. Who makes the most noise in bed?"

Friends look at each other and laugh. All fingers point to Lucas. Only his finger is pointing at Eliott.

"No fair," laughs Lucas as he drinks, "I'm sure it's a conspiracy."

"No problem," laughs Alexia, "next time we record you, you can listen to yourself."

Lucas sighs and hides his face in his hands, then stands up and drinks his soda.

"I'll go take a shower if that's the way it is."

Eliott starts to get up but Lucas puts his hand on his shoulder ''Alone. I have no desire to stir up any more gossip."

And Eliott stands up and reaches for his ear and whispers, "I wasn't thinking about that, Lucas. Although now that you mention it, I look forward to trying it with you someday. But what about your arm?"

Lucas looks up at the sky and says, "I can handle it. And then I get to take the scarf off for the shower."

He looks at his friends laughing, grabs his stuff and says, "See you later."

He regrets not letting Elliot follow him when he finds himself in the bathroom taking off the scarf. Not that Eliott could have done anything about the stabbing pain that runs down his arm to his shoulder, but his presence would have allowed Lucas to think otherwise.   
But Lucas knows that if Elliot sees him in pain, he'll think it's his fault again. Ok,maybe it is a little bit his fault. I mean,sure,if he hadn't shot him,Lucas probably wouldn't have fallen. Probably, because between the fatigue and the clumsiness of Lucas, he might have fallen down by himself a few minutes later after all. It was just an accident. 

Lucas gets in the shower, and the hot water is doing him a world of good.

_My friends are such idiots._

The thought makes him smile as he washes his hair with one hand. Again, he wishes Eliott was there to do it. But are they that close already? It's kind of intimate to shower with someone, though.

_Fuck Lucas, you had each other's dick in your mouth... of course you're so intimate._

This time he's laughing. But his laughter stops dead in the dark. He doesn't even try to understand. He hears his friends screaming in amazement in the living room. He closes his eyes and waits.   
He doesn't have to wait very long. He opens his eyes when he hears the bathroom door open.

"Lucas?" Eliott asks softly "Are you okay?"

Lucas does not answer. Eliott puts his phone on the furniture, which allows the light to shine on the ceiling and he gently opens the shower door.

''Lucas? Are you okay?"

Lucas nods his head and nods to him. Eliott opens the door and enters the shower, hugging Lucas. Lucas bursts out laughing.

"How often do you shower with your clothes on?"

And Elliot laughs and kisses him. "I thought you were scared and you needed me."

Lucas hugs him, but the wet clothes are really unpleasant. Then he lifts up Eliott's shirt with his good hand to take it off. Eliott helps him and undresses completely, throwing his wet clothes on the floor.

He kisses Lucas' bare shoulder and then he reaches down his arm and he keeps it tucked into his chest and whispers, "I'm sorry."

...and Lucas grabs his chin and forces him to stand up and look into his eyes. 

''That's why I didn't want you to come with me. I don't want you to feel guilty."

And against all odds, Elliot starts laughing.

''I thought you didn't want me because you knew you couldn't resist the envy of both our naked bodies. '"

Lucas kisses him while caressing his back and then lowers his hand to grab his buttock, which makes Eliott jump and moan in Lucas' mouth.

"Also yes." Lucas whispers in Elliot's ear, "but now that you're here."

He moves his hand slowly, until it wraps around Elliot's already hard dick. Elliot's hands slide off Lucas' back, up to his buttocks, and he grabs hold of them. He kisses Lucas' neck, his chest and then kneels down to be able to take him in his mouth while playing with his slit.

Eliott raises his head to see the slightest sign of discomfort on Lucas's face, but Lucas has his eyes closed, his head tilted backwards, just under the shower head.

"Stop me if it's too much" Eliott asks gently, sliding a finger inside Lucas, while licking his point.

Lucas moans and puts his hand in his companion's hair to guide him to the rhythm of the comings and goings. 

''Fucking Eliott, yes... Yes.'' He tries to say it softly, but Eliott puts a second finger inside of him and it makes him scream, ''Oh, fuck.''

Eliott stops immediately and looks up to find the look in Lucas' eyes.

''Please don't stop,'' he begs.

So Eliott starts again, licking Lucas all the way down. 

''Eliott, please take me,'' groans Lucas. 

Elliot stops and gets up. Lucas kisses him and smiles in his kiss, but Eliott slowly pulls him back.

''Not like that, Lucas. Not here. Not for our first time."

Lucas looks disappointed. The cold water gushing over his head seems to startle him. He turns off the water and kisses Elliot.

"But I can go on like this" suggests Eliott.

Lucas kisses him and gets out of the shower.

"Or can we meet in the bedroom?"


	16. I hesitated to do the same thing to you.

Lucas grabs two towels, grabs Eliott's phone for the light and comes out of the bathroom, Eliott right behind him, a towel around his waist. They are about to hurry through the living room, but Lucas realizes it is empty. On the table, there is a note and Basil's phone.

<< Lucas, we went for a walk on the beach. You make too much noise, it was unbearable. >>

<< Or very exciting, and therefore very disturbing>> is added underneath.

Arthur's handwriting 

Lucas watches Elliot pounding on Basil's phone and soon he hears himself moaning and saying "Oh, fuck Elliot."

His cheeks turn red immediately, but Elliot puts the phone down and smiles at him.

"It's a damn thrill to hear you begging me like that."

Lucas looks him in the eye and points to the room from his head.

''Please, Elliot. Please come."

Eliott grabs him under his thighs and lifts him up to their bed, while he closes the door with his foot. And they throw away their towels as they kiss each other. Lucas has never felt more alive. Soon Eliott's fingers are back inside him, as he caresses him with his other hand and kisses him on the neck.

''Please, Elliot. I'm ready," moans Lucas.

Eliott stands up and looks him in the eye. "Are you sure?"

"Sure," says Lucas as he leans out of bed to grab his things. He takes out of his bag a condom and a bottle of lubricant.

"Foreseeing" laughs Eliott.

Lucas taps his arm gently.

''I bought them yesterday while I was on the phone with Mika."

He hands them to Eliott, who tears the condom off and puts it on. Lucas pours lubricant on his hand and caresses Elliot for a few moments. 

''You want me to turn around,'' Lucas asks quietly, kissing Elliot. 

But Eliott kisses him on the neck and shakes his head.

"I want to see you, baby."

Lucas grabs a pillow and puts it under his arm. And Elliot crawls underneath him, resting his thighs on his.  
He gets up a little bit and goes into Lucas as gently as he can. 

The latter freezes and closes his eyes. He tries to control his breathing and wonders if it's supposed to hurt like that. But Elliot's lips on his make him feel good, and he feels Elliot growing inside him again.  
Elliot doesn't move, but soon Lucas puts his hand on his hips and presses him down to make him move.  
Then slowly, Eliot goes out and enters Lucas. They are both moaning, not being able to concentrate enough to kiss each other. 

''Go faster,'' said Lucas gently, wanting more and more.

Eliott increases his rhythm, and bends down to suck Lucas' neck and then straightens up, being careful not to touch his arm resting on the mattress.  
Eliott touches something in Lucas that makes him forget everything around him. Nothing exists anymore. There are only the two of them, becoming one. Lucas would want this to never end.

Eliott seems to have noticed this spot because he is regaining it and Lucas moans even louder.

''Damn, Lucas, it's crazy how you make me feel,'' Eliott moans, looking him straight in the eye.

The bedroom light comes on. Lucas blames himself for changing the bulb. They are a little dazzled but Eliott does not lose his rhythm. Fortunately, a switch is placed next to the headboard and Lucas turns off the light, preferring to be in the dark.

He moans while Eliott bites his collarbone.

''Fucking yes. I'm gonna come over. I'm gonna..."

Eliott steps back and instantly pulls away from Lucas. Lucas groans in disappointment and looks at Eliott smiling.

''I hate you, Elliot.'' He grunts. 

Eliot draws a kiss line across Lucas' chest while mumbling, "I'm sorry."

"Why did you do it, Eliott?"

Lucas almost screams, but he doesn't feel worried at all. He can hear the cabin door slam vaguely, but he doesn't crash. All he feels is disappointment and frustration at being cut off in his orgasm.

Eliott kisses him and then his lips melt into his jaw, down to his ear.

"I want this to be the first time we've both had sex."

Lucas gently pushes him away so he can look at him, a little lost.

''I thought he was, didn't I?"

And Elliot smiles and nods and says, "I want you to make love to me, too, baby."

Lucas can feel his smile creeping up his cheeks. But it's soon joined by fear. Will he be able to do this? The last thing he wants to do is hurt Elliot.

''I don't know if I can do it,'' he admits quietly. 

Elliot stands up, takes off the condom, ties it and throws it into a corner of the room. 

''We're gonna take care of your arm.'' Eliott says jokingly.

Lucas struggles to support his gaze.

"I wasn't talking about my arm, Eliott."

Eliott seems to hesitate before asking "but do you want to?" And as Lucas nods, he kisses him and whispers, "I trust you completely, Lucas."

Lucas sits against the headboard and waves to Elliot to join him. He caresses him while he kisses him and then gently tugs his dick to make it clear he wants him to take it to his mouth.  
Lucas takes him completely and Eliott swears "Fucking Lucas". And even then, Lucas manages to smile.  
He lets his hand walk on Elliot's lower back and then on his ass. He uses it to guide the rhythm of the back and forth in his mouth.  
He lets his fingers slide and caress the slit before entering it. Eliott makes a long moan and Lucas feels that it is even harder.  
Quickly, Eliott asks for more, then Lucas slides his second finger and stretches it a little. 

Eliott moves backwards to get out of Lucas' mouth, or else he will finish now. Instead, he bends over to kiss him while Lucas' fingers are working on him.  
He caresses Lucas in the middle of their kiss then slips in to grab a condom that he puts on him. He delicately moves Lucas's arm to create space for himself and rides on top of him.  
Slowly, he guides Lucas inside him. Lucas doesn't move, leaving him totally free to do so. The view of Eliott relaxing on him is simply magnificent. His hair is totally loose, his cheeks are red, his lips are swollen, hickeys in his neck and he looks perfect. 

''Lucas, move with me'' whispers Elliot, now leaning over him.

Then Lucas wiggles his hips to be able to climb deeper into Eliott before backing up to the point where he's almost out and doing it again.  
Eliott straightens up and leans on the bedside table, panting. When Lucas touches the bottom, Eliott starts to scream.

''Damn Lucas. This is so good."

"Shh, Eliott" laughs Lucas while moaning just as loudly.

"Shh, too," laughs Eliott before he kisses him.

And Lucas does it again, just as deep but faster. He circles Elliot's dick and caresses it at the same rhythm. Eliott sits on top of him, head back and keeps moaning his name.

"Lucas, Lucas'' says Eliott louder, and Lucas understands that he's close. 

A small part of him wants to stop everything, just to punish Eliott for doing it, but most of him is close too. So he picks up the pace with his hand and his hips.

He doesn't even know if he or eliott got there first. Or if they came at the same time. Now they're standing next to each other, trying to catch their breath.

Lucas has barely come down from his high when he hears the cabin door slam and Basil's voice.

''We're home. Are you done arguing?"

Lucas turns his head to Elliot and smiles at him. 

"You're so handsome."

Eliott opens his mouth to answer, and Lucas already knows what he's gonna say, but Basil's voice sounds again.

''What's up? Still alive?"

Lucas grunts and Eliott decides to answer him.

''Yeah, Baz. It's all good, man. We're done. Even though we weren't fighting at all."

Lucas slaps his arm, and Eliott looks up at the sky.

''He still said he hated you.'' Basil continues through the door.

''Good night, Baz,'' screams Lucas.

''Good night, guys. Sleep." Basil laughs.

Lucas puts his hand on Elliot's cheek and gets lost in his eyes.

"I love you, Elliot."

Elliot's smile could not be brighter. He kisses Lucas and backs away, raising an eyebrow.

''I heard you say you hate me. And Basil apparently hates you, too."

''Sorry. I was... frustrated."

Eliott kisses him. 

"I hesitated to do the same thing to you.," laughs Lucas.

It makes Elliot laugh back. 

"I love you too, Lucas."

If the words are deep to say, they're sublime to hear. With the solemn tone of voice used to say it, Lucas knows that Eliot really feels it. 

They hug each other, and this time Lucas falls asleep first.


	17. It's just love

The ringing of his phone wakes him up on Wednesday morning. He wants to rush to pick it up but forgets his arm and starts screaming when the pain comes back.

''Oh Lucas. Hold on."

Elliot's still half asleep, but he carefully walks over Lucas to grab his phone. He passes him over without comment. Lucas freezes when he sees "Daddy" on the screen.  
Why is his dad calling him at 9:10?

Without thinking, he slides the red phone down the screen and puts his phone down. It starts ringing again almost immediately and Lucas makes the same gesture again.  
At the third ring, Eliott suggests him to pick up the phone.

''No, it's okay. I'll call him back whenever I want."

The phone continues to ring.

"It might be important, Lucas."

Eliott seems hesitant and then goes, "If you need anything, I'll leave you alone."

Lucas grabs his phone and picks it up, while Eliot holds his arm to show him he should stay.

And Eliot hugs both of their hands and says nothing.

"Hello?"

''Lucas, are you okay? Did you go on vacation?"

Lucas hasn't talked to his father in over two months. He's just been texting him a few times. Hearing his voice makes him feel weird.

"Yeah, dad... with friends."

"I know, Amelia told me. She's following you on Instagram."

"What? She what?"

Lucas gets mad and gets up in bed.

"Why is she doing that?"

"Because she wants to get to know you, honey."

"If she wants to get to know me, she can meet me in person."

Lucas looks up to the sky, he already knows his father's answer.

''You're not giving him that chance. We're getting married in six months, Lucas, and you refuse to meet her. It was his daughter who showed him your profile."

"Ah, the whole holy family is after me then."

Lucas tightens his grip on Elliot, needing comfort, like he does after every call with his father.

''And thankfully. Who's this guy that makes you so happy?"

His dad asks the question, but Lucas knows he knows the answer by the tone of his voice.

''It's my boyfriend, Daddy. His name is Elliot."

And Elliot stiffens up next to him. He probably thinks this conversation shouldn't be over the phone, and he's right, but Lucas isn't planning on seeing his father anytime soon.

"He's dangerous," his father simply says.

Lucas is stunned. 

"You don't even know him." he gets angry.

"Fanny, Amelia's daughter went to his high school, Lucas. He was fired for sexually assaulting another boy."

Lucas hangs up angry. It's just too much. It's just too hard. He turns to Eliott, who seems totally absent. His father was screaming so loud, it's clear he heard everything.

''I don't believe it, Eliott. I don't believe it."

Lucas strokes Elliot's cheek and Elliot starts crying.

''Elliot, talk to me, please.''

Lucas' phone rings and Lucas picks it up and throws it against the wall. The ringing stops right there.

''Talk to me, please.''

He wipes away Eliott's tears with his thumb and his thumb goes into his blue eyes.

"I swear it's not true."

"I know," whispers Lucas.

''That's the guy I cheated on Lucille with. One of his buddies saw the two of them coming out of a storage room and he didn't take it. At all. So he said, I abused him. I got laid off. It put me into the worst depressive episode I've ever had. That's why I didn't graduate high school. The next year he was gone, but the whole school treated me like a wild animal. Even the teachers. That's why my parents wanted to change my high school. But I refused, I didn't want to prove them right. I hadn't done anything wrong. I mean, I'd never forced it."

"I know," Lucas whispers as he kisses him, "I'm sorry. I love you."

"Lucas, your scarf was in the bathroom," Yann said softly, knocking at the door.

"Thank you, Yann" said Lucas.

He was saying that to be polite, not to invite Yann in, but apparently he took it as a signal because he opened the door.  
A bit stunned to find the boys, shirtless in bed and Eliott looking so sad but he doesn't let anything show and comes forward to give the scarf to Lucas. 

"Thanks, man."

Yann smiles. "You're welcome. Will you join us for breakfast?"

Basil walks past the bedroom door, stays open and jumps on his knees on the couple's bed.

"Sleep well, guys? How about a movie today? It's raining."

"Yeah, great," Eliott says, eagerly.

If Lucas didn't know that, he couldn't tell that Eliott was crying a few minutes ago.

"Okay Baz, come on, let's leave them," said Yann, grabbing him by the shoulder.

''Oh, why. If Lucas was with a girl, you'd be less embarrassed, wouldn't you?"

Yann starts laughing and then looks at the boys.

"No. It'd probably be worse. I'm less embarrassed to see Eliott shirtless than I was when I saw Daphne in her bra last night."

Lucas looks at Yann and then at Eliott and turns to Yann and laughs, "Watch out, I'm watching you."

Yann bursts out laughing and goes back to the living room.

"So, Daphne?" Eliott laughs and looks at Basil.

Basil sits in a suit on the bed, between Lucas' and Eliott's legs and starts laughing.

''Hell, yeah. It was hot yesterday. After the blackout, we heard you. Especially you, Lucas."

Lucas gives Basil the finger.

"If I wasn't naked, I'd get out of this bed right now" he grunts, looking at his friend.

Basil waves to him to shut up so he can continue.

''So the girls offered to go for a walk. Daphne started telling me she'd like to take a shower together sometime. And then we started getting cold, so we wanted to go home. But you guys were fighting. At least that's what I thought."

"No," the Elliot Cup says, "I was just being naughty."

The way he says his words makes Lucas blush as he slaps him on the arm.

"Eliott! Don't encourage him."

Basil laughed and stuck his tongue out at Lucas, turning to Elliot.

''So I closed the door, and we all went for drinks at the campsite bar. After the first beer, Daphne wanted to make sure you were okay, so we came back. And here, hats off to Lucas, 'cause Elliot was screaming his head off."

Lucas starts laughing, but a big, proud smile comes over his face.

''Damn, guys, that was hot. Like you guys can't stop. We went back to the bar, but after a few beers, Daphne motioned for me to follow her outside. We did it on the beach. It was just wonderful. Until Yann started screaming and all our friends saw us getting dressed."

Lucas and Eliott burst out laughing but Basil pointed at them.

''It's all your fault. You blocked our access to the rooms. Well, how was that? Did you really do it?"

Lucas feels himself blushing and tries to push Basil with his foot under the blanket. "Get out."

"Not until I know everything," laughs Basil.

Then Lucas sighs, and rushes to his feet, wrapping himself in last night's towel and looking for his clothes. He is immediately joined by Basil, who helps him put his arm in the scarf.

''What? I'll tell you all about it. I just wanna know if it was right."

Lucas sighs and looks at Elliot, but Elliot smiles at him without moving from the bed.

"It was perfect."

Basil smiles as much as he can. 

''Uh-oh. "Perfect"? Were you high or low?"

"Basil !" complains Lucas. "No."

Basil seems disappointed and even astonished.

''Come on, I'll tell you everything. If you were with a girl, I'm sure you'd tell me everything."

Lucas looks him straight in the eye and puts his hand on his shoulder.

''First of all, when you talk to me, it's because you want to talk to me. I'm not asking you for anything. Second of all, you don't talk when Daphne's around. And, no, it doesn't matter if it's a girl or a guy... "I'm not going to talk to you about my sexual exploits because that includes Eliott and I don't want to make him uncomfortable."

"It doesn't bother me at all," says Eliott, still sitting in bed.

"Fucking Elliot, you're not helping." Lucas grunts as Basil nods his head.

''See, Lucas. He understands that some of his best friends want to talk about everything."

"Well, not me, Baz. Not right now you don't"

Basil raises his hands, defeated.

''OK OK. But I've got a lot of questions for you, Lucas."

Lucas sighs his head off as Basil walks in the door. Eliott opens his arms, and Lucas huddles up against him.

''He just wants to make sure you're not keeping secrets from him, Lucas. He's your friend," Eliott says softly, "he probably got hurt when he realized you've been hiding your attraction to guys for so long. He just wants to be there for you, no strings attached."

''I know,'' confirms Lucas ''but I don't want to tell him all the stuff we do and how you make me feel. It's too intimate."

''Then don't do it. But don't shut him out of your life because of me."

Lucas hesitates, then sighs.

"Basil ?" he starts screaming.

Basil reappears, like he's waiting outside the door. Which I'm sure he is.

''Thank you for taking such an interest in me. I promise I won't keep anything from you anymore. So if you have any questions, I'm here."

Of course, Basil closes the door and comes and sits on the bed, where he was a few minutes ago.

"How was it?"

"It was perfect. I'm not saying this to be trite. I mean, it was perfect."

"And it doesn't hurt?"

Lucas looks up at the sky.

"Are you implying I'm low?"

Basil looks at Elliot and then at Lucas and shrugs his shoulders.

''Well, yeah. Elliot's taller. Older. More experienced. So yeah."

Lucas looks at Elliot and smiles.

''Okay, so already no. I mean, yes and no."

"Yes or no?" asks Basil, lost.

''We did both'' says Eliott to help Lucas ''and no, I'm no more experienced. At least not with boys. It was also a first for me."

Lucas kisses Elliot on the cheek.

"Oh, okay," Basil says, just looking at the boys, "that's cool. I hadn't thought about that. But sure, why not. It's cool that we can switch roles."

"That's cool." Lucas repeats. And Basil can see that he's thinking about their sex life again.

"Well, can you tell me if it still hurts, then?"

"No, Basil. A little, at first, but it's soon replaced by a very pleasant sensation."

Basil turns to Eliott.

''Okay. One last question. Is it better than with a girl?"

Lucas chokes on his own saliva and hits Basil on the shoulder. He wanted to ask that question so badly last night, but he didn't have the guts to ask it.

"No," says Eliott softly, "because I love Lucas. Then it can only get better. This isn't sex. It's just love."

Basil's "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" doesn't even reach Lucas, too busy kissing Elliot. He hardly notices Basil leaving the room.

''Coffee is served'' screams Alexia from the kitchen.

The boys split up, Basil comes out thanking Lucas and they get dressed before heading to the kitchen.

"So?" Emma asks, laughing, "No morning concert? After yesterday's... I'm almost disappointed. I thought sex was better in the morning."

"It's not sex", the Basilian cut and winked at Eliott and Lucas. "It's just love."

"Oh, that's so cute," Daphne nods approvingly as she kisses him.

"What a thief!" laughs Lucas in Elliot's ear as Elliot hands him a cup of coffee.

They spend the day in the city, going to the movies and then shopping. Lucas walks hand in hand with Eliott and pays no attention to the looks around them. He only sees the smiles that some people throw at them. 

The evening is spent around a game, as it has been since the beginning of the holidays and Lucas goes to bed with Eliott around 2 o'clock, promising not to make any noise.

Promise that he can only keep that promise because Eliott smothers his moans by putting his hand over his mouth.

He's the first one to fall asleep again. 

He's still sound asleep when the door to their room opens in a hurry.

"I'm sorry" says Yann "Lucas, it's your father."

Lucas gets up with a grin on his face. He forgot his sick arm again. He rubs his eyes and looks at Eliott waking up and then looks at Yann. His words are gently recorded in his mind.

Until he shouts "What?"

He gets up, grabs his shirt and shorts and pulls them over his boxers.

"Is he there?" Lucas' voice is like a panic button.


	18. How do you do what?

"No. He's calling on my phone." says Yann.

Lucas signals Eliott to stay there and grabs Yann's phone. He comes out of the cabin, holding the phone and slams the door.

"Why are you calling my friends, dad?''

"Hello to you too, son. I had to do that because you can't be reached anymore. I had to find his parents' number so they could give me Yann's.''

His father seems really angry.

"My phone's broken," Lucas explains calmly.

"And I'm scared for you. You're not yourself anymore. I'm afraid you're gonna get manipulated by this guy. I'm gonna come get you, Lucas.''

Lucas feels all this anger building up inside him. Since when does his dad care about him? Since when does he think he knows him?

''You don't even know me, Dad. I'm gay. And he didn't mean to get mad, and now he's yelling at me. I'm gay. I've always been gay. Long before Eliott. I've always been gay, Daddy. Are you worried? What about when I tell you I don't have any money for lunch but you wait another ten days to wire it to me? Doesn't that worry you too much?''

''It's not the same, Lucas. We're talking about muggings here. I don't want that to happen to you.''

''Elliot's the best thing that's happened to me in a long time, Dad. We're just in love. That was fucking bullshit. You'd rather trust strangers than your own son. You judged him without even meeting him.''

Lucas feels the tears rising and wipes his eyes with his good hand. 

''As if you'd ever let me meet him. You cancel all our appointments, Lucas.''

"Because I can't stand the sight of you, Daddy. You abandoned us. We needed you, and you left with your new family. So, yeah, I'm too upset to see you. But I'm okay. I'm happy. You don't have to come and get me, I'm not going home with you. I'll contact you when I'm ready to see you.''

And Lucas hangs up before his dad gets a chance to talk. He looks at Yann's phone for a few moments, but his father doesn't call him back. 

He goes into the chalet, gives Yann his phone back and goes to his room.

Eliott is on the phone and seems angry too.

"Mom, I swear I'm fine...''

_Do the parents do it on purpose or what? Did they get together to piss us off this morning?_

"Yes, I'm taking my medication."

Lucas is about to leave the room, but Eliott grabs him by the forearm and pulls him in before he closes the door.

''I swear to God, I'm okay. I'm allowed to break up without being on an episode, Mom... Yeah, I know. But this time it's different. Besides, I already told you I wanted to end it... Oh, you see."

Elliot pretends to be sorry, but then Lucas smiles back at him.

''Yes, I know, mom. I wasn't thinking of doing that either. But he did, mom."

_Is he talking about me now?_

''Cause I know he is. I felt it. It's him, it should've been him all along... ''Yes, I know, I can count. But I don't have to have known him long to know that he's my half."

Lucas can't help but smile and regret not telling his dad.

''Yes, Mom, he knows I'm bipolar... but it's okay, Mom."

He puts the phone back in his ear and leans over to Lucas.

''My mom asks if you'd like to come meet her tomorrow, once we get home. She wants to see the boy who capsized my heart and."

Lucas puts his hand over Elliot's mouth.

"Of course."

"Oh, see. We'll be there tomorrow around 6:00. Yeah, we're going home by train. Don't worry. Lucas had an extra ticket. It's a long story, Mom. You don't have to know everything. I know. I love you, too. See you tomorrow."

Eliott puts his phone in his pocket and wraps his arms around Lucas.

"So, your dad?" he asks anxiously.

"That's okay." Lucas doesn't want to talk about it at all, so he goes, "What about your mom?"

Eliott shrugs his shoulders.

"She met Lucille at the bakery this morning. She was really surprised because she thought she was here with me. Then she found out we broke up... She asked me if I was okay, and most of all she wants to know who this boy is that made me lose my mind."

Lucas is hiding his face in her hands.

''I know I said yes, but isn't it going to be weird meeting your mom? Wasn't she surprised that I was a boy?"

Eliott takes his hands off his face and kisses him.

''No. She knows I'm pan. I talk to my mom a lot. She knows everything about me. She knows everything about me. My dad's more reserved, but he won't make you uncomfortable. They just want to get to know you. My mother will probably talk about my troubles, because she wants to make sure you know what you're getting into."

''I'm committed to being there for you, Elliot.'' 

Elliot's getting closer so their foreheads can touch.

''And it's already a big one, Lucas."

They kiss when Basil opens the door.

"Oh, lovers, breakfast!"

For this last day, the weather is radiant. So the friends spend the whole day on the beach or in the sea. Eliott spends a moment drawing, while Lucas sleeps next to him. When Basile falls asleep, all the friends take the opportunity to cover him with sand and make him look like a mermaid. 

Of course, when they all meet in the living room in the evening, they expect one of the boys to suggest a game.   
But it's Imane who makes everyone laugh.

''Well, shall we play, or what?'' she says innocently.

"Who has an idea for a game?" asks Arhur.

"Truth or dare?" Daphne laughs.

But surprisingly, everyone agrees.

Then she starts.

"Imane, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Okay," says Daphne, thinking, "why are you partnered with Lucas in bio and not Alexia anymore?"

"Because he dropped some weed at Emma's party and I blackmailed him before I gave it back."

The reaction is immediate. "Did you lose the weed?" "Damn it, Lucas, I could've been in trouble." "How did you blackmail him?"

It's Imane going, "I made him come and take his friends to the first shelter meeting. And the next ones."

"Evil," laughs Daphne, "but thank you."

"So" continues Imane. "Eliott, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Why do you draw people in the form of animals?"

Eliott smiles. It's obvious that he likes lmane.

''Because I think that every person can have a spiritual connection with an animal. I like that idea. Maybe in a parallel universe, we're all animals."

That makes lucas laugh.

"Okay, Daphne, truth or dare?"

"Action."

"Okay. Go get me a beer.And one for Lucas."

Everybody's laughing and Elliot's all, "Well, I don't feel like getting up."

Daphne runs in and chases after him.

"Lucas, truth or dare?"

"I'm tempted to say action, but with my arm, I'll say truth."

"If you could change one thing about Elliot, what would it be?"

Lucas turns to look at Elliot and shrugs his shoulders. With his buddies cheering him on, he finally makes up his mind.

''Ok. His waist. He makes me feel small, but he's the one that looks like a giraffe."

Eliott looks super surprised.

"Why don't you change the fact that I'm bipolar?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and confesses. "I haven't even thought about it, actually."

Eventually, Yann interrupts their kiss. 

"Lucas is yours, man."

"Okay. Sorry, man. Yann, for pain, truth or dare?"

"Action!"

On a dare, Yann sets Arthur on fire, then Emma whistles at the marshmallow-filled mouth and Arthur admits he's into Alexia. The friends spend the evening laughing, drinking, eating, smoking and trying to find improbable challenges. 

When they go to bed at 3 o'clock, Lucas huddles up against Eliott.

''I don't feel like going home tomorrow.'' He admits looking at the ceiling.

''Really, why?'' asks Eliott, stroking his hair.

''I don't want it to end. I want to stay here with you."

Eliott shifts Lucas so he can turn to the side and face him.

''I loved being there with you, Lucas. But real life starts again tomorrow and I can't wait to go home because I can't wait for you to share that life with me. I want to know everything about you. I want to know your favorite places and I want to show you mine. I want to meet your roommates, and you're going to meet my parents. I want to pick you up from school and I want to hear about your day..."

''Oh, Elliot, how do you do that?'' Lucas asks, laughing.

"How do you do what?"

"Now I can't wait to get out of here. I can't wait to do all of this. Even if you have to wait until September to pick me up at the end of school. But I can't wait for that to happen. You even make me want to go back to school. But I'm warning you, expect to get X-rayed by Mika."

Eliott starts laughing and kisses Lucas all over his face. 

"I love you, Lucas."

"I feel so lucky."

And Elliot looks him straight in the eye and says, in his most serious tone, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world."

"I love you, Eliott."


	19. We'll see

"Good luck Eliott" laughed Yann sitting in his place. "Lucas slept most of the way there. You'd think the train makes him sleep. He won't be great company."

''I wouldn't sleep.'' Lucas says to him.

He sits by the window. Eliott sits right next to him. He takes his hand and kisses him on top. They talk all the way there. Their legs are so tangled that Lucas doesn't really know where he starts and where Eliott ends. 

''You can sleep, if you want, you know'' whispers softly in his ear the handsome brunette next to him.

Lucas looks at Elliot and bites his lower lip.

''I never sleep in the transport business."

Lucas' cheeks turn red and he waves to Elliot not to say anything.

''I was just pretending. I pretended to sleep the whole way here, so I wouldn't have to talk to Chloe."

And Elliot laughs out loud. So much so that Lucas laughs. When the guys ask why they're laughing, Elliot says it's a story just for the two of them.

It's the best ride Lucas has ever taken in his entire life. 

When Lucas thinks back to the same trip a week ago, he smiles stupidly. So much has changed since then.

"What are you thinking about, baby?"

''Baby? Oh, really, baby? In the bedroom, I won't say anything. But in public?"

Eliott shrugs his shoulders and smiles. Lucas smiles back at him.

_Okay for baby then._

''I was just thinking about how much you've changed my life in such a short period of time. I love you, my love."

''Love? Really?"

Eliott raises his eyebrows and the boys burst out laughing.

''You guys are too idiots'' says Emma behind them, which makes them laugh even harder, before kissing tenderly.

Lucas is really, really happy to have agreed to come on holiday with his friends. He can't imagine a parallel universe where he would have said no to Basil. It just can't exist. But of course, when he tells Eliott, as the train slows down on its arrival at the station, he has another theory.

''Maybe in some other universe, you didn't come on vacation. But it doesn't matter, because finally Daphne asked her cousin for help painting the mural in the foyer, who asked me for help. "I would have met you at the shelter and we would have ended up making love in the painting..."

"I don't know if I'm gonna let you paint the mural," Daphne laughs as she gets up from her seat.

"Oh, yes, you will," Eliott begs, grabbing their bags. "I swear, it'll be great. The explosion of color. We're gonna give it our all, body and soul."

And Lucas gets up and laughs.

"Don't dream too much, Eliott."

"We'll see," he whispers as he helps him into his jacket by stealing a kiss. "We'll see."


End file.
